Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE DON’T KNOW

Dear Short Answers:
I went out to dinner with a person I work with and met her new husband for the very first time. I like this woman a lot but her husband is a schmuck. After a few drinks, we got into a huge argument about politics (he is a conservative army vet and I am very liberal). I’m totally over it — and told my co-worker the next day what a good time I had and that I hope the argument didn’t upset her. Apparently it did — because she won’t talk to me. What can I do?
Baffled

Dear Baffled:
For most of us, politics are dinner conversation. For some Vets, it is a much bigger deal. Tell your friend that you ventured into sensitive territory without meaning to and you hope her husband can understand. And we hope you understand and can find the opportunity to thank him for his service.

TAKE TIME

Dear Short Answers:
My husband’s division is going to be dissolved and he is ready to retire and take his package. Problem is — what will he do? How can I help him when he has anxiety or boredom or both?
First Mate

Dear Mate:
This is a major transition for both of you. He will certainly be bored and anxious — and it will affect you as well. Expect an adjustment period of a year or two. Do your part by taking a look at your own priorities and staying open to the excitement inherent in change.

THE FAMILY THAT STRAYS TOGETHER

Dear Short Answers:
My son has become obsessed with Snapchat. He says that because the messages disappear after a few minutes, he has to be on constantly or he misses out.  I don’t like the idea of his friends just popping up on screens in our home. Am I just old-fashioned, or right to want one family oasis, or something in the middle?
A Hold Out

Dear Out:
Yes, you need to set boundaries. No texting during dinner? No Snapchat during family time? It’s your home and your rules — as long as everyone in the family plays by the same rules. If you are taking calls in the car when he’s trying to talk to you– your actions will speak louder than any restrictions. Be clear that it isn’t technology that is your issue — it’s intrusion on family.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE

Dear Short Answers:
I’m at a crossroads in my career and trying to make my next move. I have a few potential options for a new position, but my gut isn’t telling me what’s right for me. I’m afraid of making the wrong move, but definitely ready to make one. How can you decide if a position is right for you and your long-term career goals?
Betwixt & Between

Dear B&B:
If the current options aren’t ringing your chimes, look some more. All important decisions have risk, but if you aren’t excited and optimistic going in, it is difficult to weather the inevitable “surprises” that come with a new venture and less likely to recognize the opportunities. Keep looking until you find something that makes you scared and happy and too excited to sleep.

 

FREE WILLY

Dear Short Answers:
Should I have sex with an ex while I have another girlfriend?
Bill

Dear Bill:
Only if you want to.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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