Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

TOUGH SPOT

Dear Short Answers:
I know my husband is cheating on me even though he denies it. How do I figure out if it’s serious? I don’t want to break up.
Annie

Dear Annie:
If there is someone waiting in the wings, truth and reconciliation are hard to get to — and we believe truth is an essential step in this process. Tell him the relationship isn’t working for you and you need to talk. If he won’t hear you, the outlook isn’t good. Sorry.

WE COULD WRITE A BOOK ON THIS ONE

Dear Short Answers:
A woman at work just had a baby (her first) and decided that she wants to come back part-time. Actually, I think she’s getting paid full-time but she works part-time from home. I think this is massively unfair and if one person can work from home, we all should be able to work from home. Am I justified in making an official complaint about this to HR? I don’t want the new mom to be punished. I just want the rest of us to be treated the same way!
It’s About Fair

Dear Fair:
We hear you. Culturally, we are in an adjustment period. Now that it has been massively documented that working mothers operate at an extreme disadvantage, some companies are bending over backwards to accommodate their needs. Think of it as affirmative action for moms. Until the workplace adjusts to the needs of people, not just parents, there are bound to be inequities. About making a complaint … we think that is ill-advised. You don’t have all the facts. A better approach is to inquire about the policy concerning work from home. And don’t be too surprised if there is none.

FB ETIQUETTE

Dear Short Answers:
When a person announces a death in the family on Facebook, is it appropriate to “like” their post? It seems weirdly morbid to me to “like” something like that. It seems as if you’re saying you’re happy that the person died.
What to Do?

Dear what:
Strange 21st century manners. If you know the person, acknowledge the loss in a comment. If the connection is remote, “like” the comment that most approximates your feelings.

SOMETIMES, MAMA KNOWS BEST

Dear Short Answers:
My mother is determined to find a “suitable” wife for me. She sets me up on dates with daughters of her friends, girls from church (which I don’t attend), and (I think) random people she meets on the street. My mother has surprisingly good taste and must be pretty persuasive because same of these girls are smart, gorgeous and just might be perfect for me. But every date I go on, it just feels like my mother is in the room and that creeps me out. How do I avoid the overwhelming feeling that this is a blind date set up by my mother and just let things happen as they normally would?
Interested, But

Dear Interested:
Maybe she “gets you.” Think of it as online dating with concierge service.

20 STONE = 280 POUNDS

Dear Short Answers:
Is 20 stone too heavy to ride a horse?
Big Man

Dear Big Man:
We suggest you ask the horse. Very nicely.

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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