Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

YOUR SISTER’S KEEPER

Dear Short Answers:
I took my dog to the dog park yesterday and while I was there a woman came in with a rather large dog and soon after, she left and left her dog in the dog park. I thought she might be just going to her car or something but I was there for over 30 minutes and she still had not returned.  I finally left myself but kept thinking that perhaps I should have called the local SPCA to come get the dog.  I didn’t want them to permanently take the dog away from her but her behavior seemed really irresponsible to me and potentially dangerous (it was, after all, a really big dog).  What do you think I should have done?
Worrying

Dear Worrying:
No wonder you are still concerned! It is always tough to decide when to intervene when encountering the irresponsible behavior of others.  Intervention often means setting a process in motion over which you have no control. You did what seems reasonable. Perhaps you might have checked back to see if she had come for the dog in another half hour, but if not, you would have faced the same tough call.

THIS IS BINARY

Dear Short Answers:
How do you politely turn down a request for a charitable donation from a very good friend? I’d like to help but I’ve never even met the person they are raising money for. Asking me for a donation seems a bit presumptuous.
Help Me Out

Dear H:
Just ignore it. If your friend pursues it further, then tell them that you do not have enough information to evaluate the request.

DON’T PACK YOUR BAGS

Dear Short Answers:
My mother has been very ill for the past year and now requires 24-hour care. I am currently unemployed and decided to move to Virginia where she lives and take care of her. I have two sisters and one brother who live far from home so everything will be my responsibility. I have told my siblings that I should get paid for this – either by them or from my mother’s money. And I would charge the same as a home healthcare worker. I think this is fair but they refuse because they think family help should be free even though THEY DO NOTHING FOR HER! How can I make them understand that I am supplying a service that somebody would have to pay for if I didn’t do it?
Sister Sal

Dear Sal:
This is an important discussion. If they agree that your mom needs full-time care then you all need to sit down and consider the options. None of them are free. However, for you to make a unilateral decision about what she needs, and demand to be paid is also unreasonable. You all need to agree about what help is required (including your mother) and then weigh the emotional and financial costs of each of the possible solutions.

NO GUARANTEE

Dear Short Answers:
Is it bad luck to throw away a fortune cookie without opening it?
Unlucky 7

Dear 7:
YES!

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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