OK, sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. This week’s column has very little to do with wine, but it has everything to do with whining. I was at the dog park this morning and was discussing with a couple of friends the city commission’s bright idea to move the dog park. You guys are all idiots, you understand that – right?! This is probably the one thing that Monroe County has ever done right and you want to undo it?!?!
We were sitting their (standing actually) opining about the fact that every morning and every evening, the dog park is full of dogs & their people having a most enjoyable time. While, at the same time, look at the playgrounds (yes we have two now at Higgs Beach) and you’ll, 95% of the time, see them empty. But, then, I don’t really blame people for not taking their kids to the playgrounds.
First of all, they threaten to move the road so that the poor kids don’t have to cross the street to get to the bathrooms. A community of stupid. Now, I know it’s hard for our conch kids to learn the concept of crossing the road, but once they get hit a couple of times, they’ll understand “look left, then right, then left again”. Secondly, if you’re letting your child cross the street alone to go to the restroom that is best known as the one place the bums can go and masturbate in peace; Community Services should be knocking on your door quite soon.
So, then our community leaders come up with a plan to take care of two problems at once. “Let’s build a playground on the other side of the road and then build a fence around it that includes the tables so that the bums can’t take them over all day. We’ll just put up a sign that says to be in this park you must have children with you!” BRILLIANT! Then, we’ll cut down the only trees that provide any shade to the park. IDIOTS. Not to mention that you still only have the public masturbation house as your only relief station. Where do you go to school to get this kind of education? Oh, yeah, Monroe County.
Let’s once again call a spade a spade; all these stupid projects are simply make work projects for our conch contractors and our city & county commissioners just want to keep them happy. Move a road to the other side of the park so kids don’t have to cross it to go to a restroom that I would never consider using myself?!?! How ludicrous can you get?
The dog park is just fine where it is, let’s just keep it there as a tribute to the fact that Dixie Spear did something right; not just the cock up that was the Hickory House. We all remember the Hickory House – right? Obviously NOT. Five million for a Key Largo marina? Who negotiated that? I want to sell them my house! And, why don’t you complete the sewer project first! Hey, we’re destroying the reef, but, we got us a marina!
And speaking of uncompleted projects, how about the mother of them all – Truman Annex! How many years have we had that property and what’s been done with it? Bupkiss, nada, zip. God help me.
Speaking of helping me, I just want to add one more rant (this won’t be the last). They are called turn signal INDICATOR lights. That means that you use them to let people know that you’re going to make a turn. Not that you’re turning or that you just made a turn. IF you’re stopped in the middle of a green light intersection, don’t worry about turning on your turn signals; we’ve already got it figured out (oh, and I’m soooo sorry about running into your bumper).
Finally, on a little wine related news, a Polish studied recently found that men who drink wine three times a week have stronger sperm than people who don’t. So, boys, if your wife wants to start a family, you can now tell her, “I’m right there with ya honey, pass me a bottle of wine!”
And finally, finally, just because you have a bicycle doesn’t mean that you’re exempt from all rules of the road. You have to stop at stop signs and lights. You’re not supposed to pass on the right. One way street means you too. No, you can’t take over the whole road (I don’t care if technically you can; you will get your ass run over eventually).
Alright, I’m done ranting (for now). Can’t we all just use a little common sense and put an end to this community of stupid? Thank you.
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lol Steve, I am so on-board with combating the insanity of stupid, especially the bicyclists and drivers who have that all-too-familiar, all-about-me attitude, oblivious of anyone else and alone in their bubble worlds. Empathy and consideration are at a premium in today’s world. That is why it is so refreshing to hear stories of kindness.
I could write volumes about this but doubt anything will change except the level of our blood pressure. It’s the same with the other issues you mentioned. The best answer is to retreat to our relaxation zones with that bottle of wine or in my case, beer! Hell, why not both?!?