Short Answers / YOU’RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
I think that my wife should not disagree with me in public. She thinks that is old-fashioned.  Who is right?
Insistent Hubby

Dear insistent:
She is. We can’t even imagine that your brand of sexism was ever acceptable.

 

DON’T BLAME THE FAT MAN

Dear Short Answers:
Last week I was on a flight sitting in an aisle seat. I got up to go the bathroom and when I returned, I was shocked to see the person who had previously been at the window, sitting in my seat. The problem was that I had left my laptop open on my seat and this very, very heavy man was sitting on it. His gigantic butt had cracked the screen and completely obliterated it. I was dumbfounded and angry and, frankly, just wanted to cry. The man was most apologetic but, still, he had ruined my computer. Now I’m stuck buying a new one. It’s too late now, but should I have gotten the man’s contact information and tried to make HIM pay for it? I’m angry at myself for not doing that — but not sure of what his financial responsibility should be. Let me know for future reference.
Shattered

Dear S:
We have learned the hard way that screens are fragile — smashed i-Phones, Kindles, and yes, laptops.  Which is why you need to CLOSE them. Can we tell you about the time we SMASHED OUR OWN SCREEN with the seat belt? It would have been nice if the big guy made an offer but he was probably as humiliated as you were devastated. Forget it.

 

WHEN YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT — STAY OUT OF IT

Dear Short Answers:
My husband can’t talk about politics without losing his temper. Sometimes even with friends it can be embarrassing when he just flies into a rage. Obviously, I try to steer the conversation away from politics but sometimes I fail. How can I help him not make a fool of himself?
Apolitical Wife

Dear Apolitical:
This is not your problem. It’s his. Reasonable adults disagree. It’s up to him to handle his own temper or steer clear. Take a deep breath and mind your own business.

 

CATCH 22

Dear Short Answers:
Another year and here I am with the same old “not going anyplace relationship.” We’ve had all the conversations and no resolutions but somehow here we are again — not very happy but not doing anything else either. Help!!!
PO’R

Dear P:
You know the answer to this one. You’re too lazy to put yourself out there and too horny to turn down friend-with-privileges status. If you want something more satisfying, you are going to have to work for it.

 

CONSPICUOUSLY ABSENT

Dear Short Answers:
Have you noticed that even in this 24/7 campaign coverage, education is barely mentioned?
A Citizen

Dear Citizen:
Yes, we have noticed. Bernie’s promise of free college notwithstanding, there seems to be very little discussion of how we get our primary and secondary education competitive in the world market. Too difficult a problem for provocative sound bites?

 

ALONE IN THE DARK

Dear Short Answers:
I love movies but my husband hates them. He refuses to go with me. I go with friends or sometimes by myself. How can I convince him to join me every now and then?
Lonely Movie Goer

Dear LMG:
Get over it and leave him alone. Go yourself and enjoy the break. Marriage doesn’t mean joined-at-the-hip.

 

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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