Short Answers /  WHERE ANGELS FEAR TO TREAD

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
A cousin of mine recently told me that her son (Steve) is transgendering to female (Selene). I am not very close to this particular cousin since I am gay and her religious beliefs do not allow her to accommodate (to put it mildly) gay people. But in this situation, she has asked me to speak with her new daughter and try to figure out what is going on. I am happy to speak to Selene as a friend since I am sure it is a very tough and unpleasant situation at home. But I am no expert in transgender behavior and have no intention of trying to talk “Steve” out of it (as I am sure that my cousin wants me to do). Should I go ahead and speak with Selene or stay out of this complicated family dynamic?
Selene’s Mother’s Cousin

Dear Cousin:
We think you have the right idea. It is indeed complicated but probably Selene and your cousin could use some family support. Be kind, respect boundaries and perhaps you can be helpful. 

ASSUMING HOT WATER

Dear Short Answers:
My girlfriend has refused to move in with me because I don’t have a bathtub in my apartment, only a shower. Is that normal behavior for a girl or just a lame excuse not to move in with me?
Tubless

Dear Tubless:
While we believe in the therapeutic value of a good long soak for whatever ails you, it does sound like a lame excuse.

TWO ON THEIR OWN ROAD

Dear Short Answers:
My sister and her beloved are getting married and they are driving me crazy. They don’t begin to know any basic life skills. None! What should I do?
Worried Sister

Dear Sister:
There is no “do” in this for you. Your sister and her beloved will develop the road map and the tool kit for the life they choose. This has nothing to do with you — bow out.

EQUALITY IS A FINE CONCEPT

Dear Short Answers:
I have three sons of adult age  Two of them have successful business careers but my youngest son is trying to be a professional musician and has had a difficult time making a living. Consequently, I have given my youngest child a lot more financial help than the other two. Apparently, my two older ones found out and are furious and are demanding that I treat them all equally. I can certainly afford to give them all the same support, but I just didn’t think it was appropriate or necessary. I feel like I’m being emotionally blackmailed but perhaps I should pay up just to keep the peace. What do you think?
Mom

Dear Mom:
Many families take care of needy children and let the successful ones fend for themselves and it is generally very divisive. We agree with your older sons.

GROUND RULES

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that a Christian Conservative and a Liberal Democrat can have a happy marriage?
Friend of a Friend

Dear FOF:
Depends on what they think marriage is — if they agree on that, anything is possible.

 

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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