Short Answers / TRY POLITICS

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
Is there any way to get old people to stop talking about themselves so much? I’m sick and tired of hearing what my 70-year old neighbor had for breakfast and how long he had to wait at the post office. Don’t old people have anything interesting to say?
So Not Interested

Dear So:
You are conflating old and boring — lots of young people have nothing to say. Perhaps he thinks that’s all you would understand.

 

ROLLING SMOOTHLY INTO THE SUMMER

Dear Short Answers:
How do you handle relatives who don’t use email? It makes it nearly impossible to plan family get-togethers when a few “older members” take 2 or 3 days to respond to any question (whenever they get around to listening to their messages on the ancient answering machines). Do I just forget about them in the planning stage and tell them when the event is going to be and they can just show up or not?
Thoroughly Modern Mel

Dear Mel:
Family get-togethers present many challenges and we suggest that you don’t get your knickers in a twist right out of the gate. We assume you want them all to come — old and dotty, young and irritating. That’s what makes families a joy. Resign yourself to calling everyone several times. Or even better, delegate it to another family member — and you concentrate on planning the party!

 

EMPATHY

Dear Short Answers:
If you go out to dinner with a group of friends and some of them only order a single drink or an appetizer, is it appropriate to make up for the small check with an extra tip? I think you should because you are taking up time at a valuable table during dinner. My friends think I’m ridiculous because if the waiter didn’t have to do any work, he shouldn’t be paid extra.
Bart

Dear Bart:
Of course you are right — as anyone who ever worked in food service would know. Or frankly, anyone who ever thought about the other guy.

YOU’RE A BIG BOY NOW

Dear Short Answers:
There is a woman at work who has (I am positive) an unnaturally strong crush on me. She doesn’t say anything to me but tells everyone else how much she likes me and how much she hopes that I’ll ask her out.  A number of my co-workers have told me how insistent she is.  It makes me uncomfortable around her but as I said, she hasn’t talked to me, just other people. Should I just ignore this or am I justified in telling her to stop talking about me to other people and that I am NEVER asking her out.
Mac

Dear Mac:
This is high school stuff. Relax, its just noise in the system.

SEXUAL POLITICS

Dear Short Answers:
My wife and several of her friends have joined a group that has decided not to have sex with men until women achieve complete equal rights. Do you think this is real? Or just an excuse not to have sex with me?
Hurting Hubby

Dear HH:
How will your wife and friends determine when “complete equal rights” have been achieved? Since day one sex has been a powerful tool for manipulation — ask her what’s REALLY on her mind.

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to KonkLife@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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