By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman
Dear Short Answers:
My boyfriend and I are planning to get married in the fall. We are both Catholic, we both want kids and we agree on just about everything important. There’s only one silly problem. My boyfriend grew up in the city and I grew up in the suburbs. I can’t imagine trying to raise a family in the city. And I can’t imagine living in an apartment without a yard and neighbors. Do I let him have his way for now and hope that he eventually changes his mind? Or do we need to get this settled before we get married?
Bride 2 B
Dear 2B:
We smile at the thought that life issues “get settled” once and for all times — before or after you say “I do.” Marriage is an adventure with many things you “can’t imagine” in store for you. That’s the fun of it. And maybe YOU will change your mind and find a house with a yard and neighbors in the middle of a metropolis. They exist.
JUST SAY “NO”
Dear Short Answers:
There is a person in town that I know very casually who has invited me to her home for dinners and parties and brunches and just about every occasion you can think of. I don’t really want to get to know her better so I have declined every invitation. I have made up all sorts of excuses but now I’m thinking I should just be honest and tell her to stop inviting me. Do you think that honesty is the best policy in this situation?
Don’t Wanna Go
Dear Don’t:
We kicked this one around and came out here: no reason to be so blunt. Keep declining. Eventually, she will get the message. However, there is the chance you are making a mistake and going once to a group gathering doesn’t seem so risky either.
HARD TO SAY
Dear Short Answers:
I have a neighbor who is so straight and so married (he has 5 kids) that I never gave it another thought (having sex with him I mean). But all of a sudden, he has started to come over to have a beer or just have some “guy” talk. When I asked him why, he said that he just likes time away from his family but I think he’s flirting with me. Do you think it’s possible that a happily married man with 5 kids could be gay? Or at least gay curious?
Curious, Too
Dear Too:
Yes, he could be gay. Or he could be resting from his wife and all those kids … or both. But do remember that sometimes flirting is all that a person wants to do so there is no need to jump to any big conclusions.
HUNG JURY
Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that men are better business people than women?
I Wonder
Dear Wonder:
REALLY don’t know. We have had (collectively) a great deal of experience and, so far, must conclude that gender is the wrong cut on this data.
Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.
Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.
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