Short Answers / DON’T LOOK BACK

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
I have a wonderful family with 3 kids, 5 grandkids and a terrific husband. I’m not sorry about any of the decisions that I made but I am feeling more and more like I didn’t fully explore the alternatives that seem to be available to people nowadays. I certainly never plan to leave my husband or abandon my current life but is there any way that I can see what I might have been missing without losing what I already have?
Ruth with Regret

Dear Ruthie:
No. There is no way to see where another road might have led — and remember what happened to Lott’s wife.

WE CRY “FOUL”

Dear Short Answers:
I do a lot of traveling and like to take my dog with me. My dog is a little too big to stow under the seat on airplanes so I got a “Service Dog” certificate that lets me keep him at my feet without having to put him in a pet carrier. Technically, I guess I don’t “need” to travel with my dog but my life is certainly a lot nicer when he’s along. Since the doctor I went to for the certificate was quite willing to give it to me, I don’t think I’m “breaking the law.” But friends tell me that it’s wrong to do this since I’m not really emotionally or physically disabled. Are they right?
Love da Baby

Dear Love:
Perhaps you are not breaking the law (but perhaps your physician is) — it is about abuse of privilege and community. Your dog on board means someone else’s dog (who may really be disabled) won’t be. There are airlines that allow dogs in the cabin for a fee, and those that provide climate controlled accommodations (also for a fee). We are very doggish and prefer traveling with ours as well, but claiming disability and free benefits that belong to others seems piggy, not doggish.

IMPORTANCE OF BEING EQUAL

Dear Short Answers:
My husband’s mother comes from the old school where a wife was completely subservient to her husband. So despite the fact that I make just as much money as my husband does, she treats me like a second-class person. I wouldn’t mind this so much because we don’t see her very often but the problem is that my husband treats me the same way when his mother is around. I’ve asked him nicely to stop but he swears he doesn’t act any different when she’s around (which is NOT TRUE!!!). How do I get him to treat me like his equal even when his mother is in the room????
Equal Partner

Dear Equal:
He is obviously regressing to a childhood (and childish) pattern around his mom. Lighten up. Gentle teasing or perhaps a private signal when he lapses into disrespect might work. And for the record, we think equal partnership is an entitlement that is not necessarily based on equal earnings.

SINCE YOU ASKED

Dear Short Answers:
What’s the best pick-up line to get a girl’s attention in a bar?
Joe

Dear Joe:
“Tell me about you…” Then listen! It’s a show stopper.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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