Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

YOU’RE ONLY AS OLD AS YOU SAY YOU ARE

Dear Short Answers:
About 20 years ago I got a job in a new town and started dating again (after a bad, bad break-up). Just for fun, I told everyone that I was 10 years younger than I actually am and they believed me! I stuck with the lie and nobody questioned it (I really do think I look much younger than I am). But now, I’m starting to feel bad about lying to everyone.  Should I just forget about it and continue to lie — or should I confess and clear my conscience?
Need to Confess

Dear Need:
No broadcast confession necessary; probably no one cares but you. Next time the subject comes up, sprinkle with candor, as appropriate.

 

IT’S CALLED TRUST

Dear Short Answers:
My girlfriend is five months pregnant and she’s trying to make me believe that I’m the father but I don’t think I am.  I know she has slept with other guys. I think she just wants money and I asked around and she has asked the other guys for money too. Do I owe her anything just because we slept together even if I’m not the real father? I’m confused and not sure what to do.
Dodad

Dear Do:
A paternity test after the baby is born will be helpful in determining your financial obligation. But if you want to continue to have a relationship with your GF, then you have many issues to sort out. You might start with how you feel about soliciting funds from ex’s.

 

GIFT HORSE

Dear Short Answers:
I have a good friend who is often down on his luck — his girlfriend leaves him, he gets evicted from the house he rents, his ex-wife wants more child support — the list goes on and on. I let him crash at my place or I lend him money (I never expect to get it back) or I give him stuff like clothes and food. Last week, out of the blue, he gave me $1,000 in brand new $100 bills. I tried to turn it down — but he was very proud to have done this. The problem is — I don’t have the slightest idea where the money came from and he won’t tell me. Maybe he sold something (I don’t know what it could be) but maybe he stole it. I am very uncomfortable with this money. What do I do?
$$$

 

Dear $$$:
Maybe your friend is getting his act together. Unless you have REAL reason to think the cash is stolen, lighten up and let him have his pride.

 

WHEN IN-LAW MEANS OUT-LAW

Dear Short Answers:
My mother-in-law (Maggie) is one of the meanest people I’ve ever known. Her son and I had a fabulous marriage despite her (unfortunately, he passed away a couple of years ago). Just last week, Maggie died and I am amazed at the comments and notes I have received. Friends (and even close relatives of Maggie) are congratulating me!! I just don’t know what to say. Frankly, I’m not sad. But I don’t want everyone to think that I’m dancing on her grave. How do I handle this?
D In-Law

Dear D In-Law:
Bad taste requires no comment. In fact, bad taste defies comment.

 

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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