Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

COPING WITH COVID

Dear Short Answers:
Like many people these days I’ve taken the time to re-connect with long lost friends.  I’ve been so thrilled to rekindle some of these relationships. But now and then I come across an old friend who still harbors a grudge, about something that may or may not have happened decades ago. And that’s the first thing they say — “did you call to apologize?” What can I say to defuse the situation and just let bygones be bygones? I’d love to
reduce everybody’s anger just a little bit.
Doing My Best
Dear Doing:
Your intentions are admirable but you have to meet people where they are, and it may not be where you want them to be. Lots of people prefer to be angry than to experience the fear that today’s uncertainties produce.

COURAGE

Dear Short Answers:
Over the years we’ve been married, my wife and I have talked of living in different places around the country and even around the world. It’s been a fun dream and diversion especially now that we are sheltering at home. How do we do it? Shall we rent first? What if we make a mistake? Should we keep our current home just in case? House swapping? Or just plan out some great vacations?
Looking to Change

Dear Looking:
Any of the above are totally great ideas — just do one of them. Pick the style (safety net or free fall) that excites you both. Nothing is a mistake — except not doing anything. 

DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL

Dear Short Answers:
I love my boyfriend very much. I am his home, his family (NOT literally!) and his love. We live together and have become very close and comfortable, but right before COVID 19, I cheated on him with my ex. I feel horrible. How do I tell him?
Guilty

Dear Guilty:
Don’t. Don’t go to the wounded party to ask forgiveness. Handle your guilt yourself. Don’t make it his problem.

NOTHING VENTURED, NOTHING GAINED

Dear Short Answers:
Help! I’m a 50-year old, disillusioned, middle school, foreign language teacher. For the past 3 years I have been dealing with the (pretty much) constant feeling that I want “out,” to find something else to do, but I’m not sure what or where to start my search. Praying for divine intervention hasn’t seemed to help. Any advice for me?
KW

Dear KW:
If you don’t play, you can’t win. Better to try something new, even if you fail, than to spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. This is the perfect time to explore alternatives.

KEEP IT UP

Dear Short Answers:
I’m 65; my girlfriend is 61. We have sex about two or three times a week. Is this normal?
Signed,
Old Horn Dog

Dear OHD:
Yes — although perhaps a slight overachievement. Congrats.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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