Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

FAMILY MATTERS

Dear Short Answers:
I divorced a bitter, controlling drunk about nine years ago. We had two girls and one has Downs Syndrome. The younger one lives with me full time while my ex has guardianship of the other one. He has accused many of my family members of unthinkable deeds — that all have been unfounded. I have argued in court but our court system has so many loop holes that I fear if I don’t get some help from family soon I will lose her forever. Will anyone stand up and help my daughter other than me?
Broken Soul

Dear Broken:
Whether you need love, advice or money, you increase your odds of success by asking your family in a direct and respectful manner. Your family needs to know exactly what you need and why. Then you can answer your own question.

GREEN-EYED MONSTER

Dear Short Answers:
My Man’s ex-girlfriends are all over him still and he thinks that I don’t trust him when in reality I do not trust THEM. He shouldn’t trust them either because one of them is still head over heals in love with him and the other one cheated on him when they were together. What should I do?
Worried

Dear Worried:
You should get your head together. If you trust him, Trust Him. Forget about the other women and enjoy your man.

ANOTHER FORK IN THE ROAD

Dear Short Answers:
My mother really needs to go into a nursing home. But my two sisters disagree even though I am the one who provides the vast majority of care for her every day. They see her maybe once a month. Neither do they provide financial support. I don’t want to wait until disaster strikes and my mother breaks her hip or has another stroke. Do I stop caring for her and let her be without food for days at a time? She is using my sisters as a shield and refuses to go. What is the best thing for me to do?
Outvoted

Dear Out:
You can’t make this decision unilaterally – even though it seems fair that you should. Most states have Public Health Nurses who, at the request of a Primary Care doctor, will evaluate the condition of an elderly patient. Their report would be a place to start a discussion with your sisters and your mother. Perhaps there are some intermediate steps between total dependence on you and an assisted living facility.

A NEW WORLD IS WAITING (TWICE)

Dear Short Answers:
I’ve got a boss who isn’t a bad guy but is basically an impediment to letting me do my best work. How long do I stick it out and continue to try before I just go work someplace else? I love the people here. But I do believe that I will do better work and grow faster someplace else?
How Long? 

Dear How?
Pack your bags — whatcha waiting for?

IF IN DOUBT, TAKE A POLL

Dear Short Answers:
Am I a nice person?
MJG

Dear MJG:
If you don’t know the answer, ask around.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to KonkLife@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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