Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

LIGHTEN UP

Dear Short Answers:
My husband has the worst table manners I have ever seen and I don’t know what to do about it.  You can tell me to just ignore it but I am afraid that our friends won’t invite us over for dinner parties anymore because they are disgusted when they see him picking his teeth or eating with his fingers.  Is divorce the only answer?
Makes Me Sick, Too

Dear Sick:
Is it possible that you care about this more than your friends? We think that your friends will overlook this if they really care about the two of you. Frankly, we have overlooked a lot worse. Don’t worry, be happy.

BEING A SPORT

Dear Short Answers:
I am not a football fan.  What do I do for the Super Bowl?
Sue

Dear Sue:
Read a book and don’t rain on THEIR parade.

A BIASED RESPONSE

Dear Short Answers:
I love dogs. I grew up with dogs. The time spent without a dog in my life is diminished because of it. Even bad dogs are better than no dogs. My girl friend says it’s not fair to get a dog because we both work. I want a dog.
Bow Wow

Dear Bow Wow:
As we have previously confessed, we are hopelessly and irrevocably pro dog. Lots of people work all day and still own dogs.  Maybe start with an older dog that is already housebroken. There is a dog at a shelter near you who would definitely agree to wait for you to come home.

LONG MAY IT REIGN

Dear Short Answers:
What is courtship?
Dean

Dear Dean:
Courtship is that wonderful time at the beginning of a relationship when at least one of you is head over heels in love and everyone is as nice as they can possibly be to the other.  No gesture is spared and romantic feelings abound.  Hopefully, the residual habits of love and kindness live on.

SMOTHER LOVE

Dear Short Answers:
I have a ton of friends whom I love dearly — women friends and guy friends. Unfortunately, I am my boyfriend’s only friend. I like to spend time with my friends and it’s fine with me if my BF joins us some of the time but don’t I get a few nights a week to hang out on my own? This has always been an issue and it is getting worse.
Getting Worried

Dear GW:
You need to find out if your boy friend feels that you have not made him a priority and therefore feels insecure about your relationship or if he is not understanding that your friends are important to you.  Talk about it. If he wanted to spend Saturdays playing golf with the guys would you object? Perhaps a compromise can be reached. And perhaps you need to let him know that he is at least as important as your gang.

AFTER CHRISTMAS, BEFORE MLK DAY

Dear Short Answers:
When is the right time to take down your Christmas Tree?
Emily

Dear E:
This is a subject worthy of Talmudic debate but we tend toward pragmatic on this one: take it down when you have some help or when it is dropping more needles than you can stand — whichever comes first.

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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