Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

YOU’RE RIGHT, HE’S WRONG

Dear Short Answers:
For 20 years, my husband and I have argued about how much to tip waiters, taxi drivers, bell hops, etc. He thinks that tipping is foolish and unnecessary. I think it’s an important part of their compensation. So we’ve compromised, but usually at the very low end of what I think might be acceptable. So if a person gives us exceptionally good service, I often secretly add an extra amount. So far, he’s never caught me but I still feel guilty and a bit dishonest since we agreed on an amount and then I add to it. Should I finally fess up after all these years?
Penny Wise

Dear Penny:
Why tell him? He won’t change, but neither should you! Keep up the noble work.

THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERN

Dear Short Answers:
What do you think is going to happen to all those gay people who are getting married when they get older? If they don’t have kids and their families have disowned them, who’s going to take care of them when they can’t take care of themselves?
Family Man

Dear Man:
We have every confidence that “all those gay people” will manage their elder care as well as any of us — and better than most. And good luck with your own expectations.

DOUBLE INDEMINITY

Dear Short Answers:
I talked a friend into going on a “sun” vacation with me and it turned out to be a pretty crappy time. Cold and rainy all week long. Nothing to do but drink and no interesting people to talk to. Since it was my idea in the first place (and I picked the location), do you think I should pay my friend back for at least part of the trip? She hasn’t brought it up but she’s been pretty cold and distant since we got back.
Still Cold & Miserable

Dear Miserable:
Of course not! You’re not responsible for the weather nor are you responsible for anyone else’s good time … and don’t you ever forget that!

WHERE WERE YOU, BACK IN THE DAY?

Dear Short Answers:
Now that it seems like you can have sex with just about anybody you want, I’m beginning to question whether I made the right decision about marrying my husband. I had never experimented sexually and was a virgin when we got married. After 17 years of marriage, do you think it’s too late to find out if the “grass is greener” someplace else?
Restless

Dear Restless:
Sorry darling, sex has been available for all takers for half a century. NOW you are looking at your options? Okay — but the learning curve is steep and possibly as treacherous as it is exciting. Here is something to think about: are you going to dump your marriage or just risk it? Those of us who have been out there know free love is rarely free, and love and sex only occasionally co-habitate. And P.S. — it’s never too late.

WRONG FOR WHOM?

Dear Short Answers:
I haven’t had sex with my husband in 10 years.  Is that wrong?
I’m Okay, He’s Okay

Dear Okay:
If it’s working, you got no argument here.

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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