Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

WORKS BOTH WAYS

Dear Short Answers:
My mother (who is in her 60s, so she’s not ancient) refuses to use a cell phone for anything other than emergencies. She never answers it and doesn’t even know how to text. For me, this isn’t a huge problem but her grandkids don’t know how to communicate any other way and I think she’s missing out on a lot by not learning the basics of modern communication. She’s certainly smart enough to do this – she’s just stubborn. How do I convince her to join the 21st century? Or does her communication with her grandkids stay limited to Christmas and Birthday cards?
21st Century

Dear 21:
We think everyone profits from more communication.  Your kids should learn to make polite phone calls and communicate in full English sentences. These are survival skills.  Mom should also learn to use her cell phone and social media.  Sounds like everyone could use your help.  In a stand-off, everyone loses.

NO KIND DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

Dear Short Answers:
When a new family moved into the house next door, I was very welcoming. We brought them a housewarming gift and invited them and their kids to come over “any time.” I now totally regret those words. The minute my kids leave for school, the wife comes over for coffee. When their kids get home, they come here FIRST for a snack and play video games. After dinner, the husband comes over to watch football with my husband. I can’t lock the door and pretend we’re not home because they know when we’re here. MAKE THEM STOP!!!!
Help me

Dear Help:
These people are being abusive and they know it — even if you don’t.  REBOOT — tell them the informality isn’t working for you but you will invite them all to dinner as soon as you can.

SECRETS CAN BE COSTLY

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship except for one thing — money.  I work and earn good money but he wants to know where every penny goes and how much everything costs. I got so tired of it that I opened up a bank account of my own … so that I can buy a few things here and there without having to explain myself.  Now, I am feeling guilty. Should I close out the account? Should I fess up and face the consequences? Or should I keep hiding this and know that a little guilt is the price I pay for a bit of financial freedom?
The Penny Pincher’s Wife

Dear Penny:
Couples often have different views about money and it can lead to real problems.  We think you are entitled to some financial independence AND we would urge you to at least come to a well-understood and honest truce.

PASSION REVIEWED

Dear Short Answers:
I have been sexually active for over 10 years and probably had sex with about a dozen different men. But to be totally honest, I don’t really like it. How do I find out if the problem is MINE or the other person’s? I don’t think that I’m frigid or a lesbian but everybody I know seems to like sex a whole lot more than I do.
Not So Thrilled

Dear Not:
Appetite and interest in sex is highly variable but we advise you to take your own pleasure seriously and do what you need to in order to find it. We also advise you to take the reportage from friends with a grain of salt.

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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