Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman 

COMMUNAL PROPERTY?

Dear Short Answers:
My new boyfriend and I were at a restaurant and it started to rain really hard. When we left, he simply grabbed an umbrella from the pile of umbrellas that were by the door.  Since we hadn’t brought an umbrella with us, he was basically stealing one.  When I asked him about this, he claimed that people do this all the time and that there are always “extra” umbrellas that people have forgotten so there isn’t really a problem.  Plus, he claimed that he had forgotten umbrellas all over the place so he was basically just taking back something he had forgotten at another restaurant.  I was at a loss for words.  Is this an acceptable rationale for taking an umbrella?
Erica

Dear Erica:
No, this is NOT acceptable behavior, it is stealing.

FAMILY MATTERS

Dear Short Answers:
Shortly before my mother died, I sat with her to go over all the details of her will and last wishes. To make sure that I got everything right, I tape-recorded our conversation. Nobody questioned her decisions and the disbursement of her possessions went smoothly. Recently, my sister asked me if she could have a copy of the tape recording – not to “confirm” the details, just to have a reminder of my mother’s voice. Unfortunately, what I didn’t tell my sister is that my mother spent most of the time saying mean, spiteful things about people in the family. Some of her remarks are really horrible (although probably true). I don’t want the family’s last recollection of our mother to be this rant. Would it be wrong to tell my sister that I “lost” the recording? Wouldn’t that be better than stirring up all this ill feelings when nothing can be done about it?
Sister

Dear Sister:
Tell her you destroyed it.  And maybe you should.

GETTING EVEN

Dear Short Answers:
I am a new widow and my married friends insist on paying for me when we go out to dinner. I am uncomfortable with this and have said so — to no avail. What do you suggest?
Want to be Fair

Dear Fair:
There are many ways to compensate your friends. First, try paying for the whole group now and then. Or bring a nice bottle of spirits when you visit, or a book you think they might like, or send flowers from time to time. It doesn’t have to be a dollar for dollar equivalency. Although your friends are showing their affection with their gesture, we are confident that they will appreciate yours as well.

SMOKING AROUND

Dear Short Answers:
What do you do if you think your boyfriend is sneaking a cigarette after SWEARING that he has quit?
Megan

Dear Megan:
There isn’t a person on the planet who doesn’t know that cigarette smoking is a killer — including your BF since he no longer smokes in public. Hopefully, the inconvenience of sneaking around will also detract from whatever benefit he derives from it. There is not much you can do.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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