Key West Is Going to the Dogs (A Creative Piece)


And I know because I am one. I came from Brooklyn to Key West with my humans, and my “biglittle” brother (whom I will never mention again) in 4 grueling days and 3 slightly-better-than-grueling nights. Being stuck on a pillow, jammed in with coolers and luggage, for 6 hours a day is no picnic. Of course, we take walks, but they’re way too short. Just when I’m picking up the scent of another Lab/Border Collie mix, the tank is full and we get back in the car. Lunchtime is a little better. We usually go to an outdoor restaurant with the humans and get to sit next to them while they eat. There’s always the possibility of them dropping something. Yay! Or better yet, they don’t like their lunch and they give big chunks of mahi-mahi to me.

A different hotel room every night isn’t so bad because there are literally hundreds of different stinks to amuse us! And “biglittle” (last time, I promise) sometimes pees on the rug and cracks me up. Mommy always spots it as soon as they get back from dinner and curses the whole time she’s cleaning up the peepee. You can’t make this stuff up. 

All the traveling apparently wears on my nerves. They say I get neurotic and hyperactive. I love when we finally get to our house in Key West. I personally like to be on a schedule. I like to wake up Mommy as early as possible to go for a walk. Then I want my breakfast. Then I want to go out back and chase those little green rats for hours. That is my favorite thing about Key West. They are amazingly fast. They zip around the pool, climb trees and really challenge my speedy legs. I’ve caught a few. I ate one once and threw up green and the humans said I was hallucinating. It was fun.   Then Daddy takes me to the dog park. There are a lot of stupid dogs who won’t let me in right away. They really get up my butt. And then, when I chase them and bark – I mean they were up my butt – people get mad and yell at Daddy!  

People are much nicer to me in Key West than in my Brooklyn apartment building.  They let me in all the restaurants. They give us water so we don’t just die in the boiling heat. My favorite thing is when my people have a party. They all drink a lot and drop a lot more food than usual! I love it, and I can’t wait to go back.


PS  Daddy calls those rats Gekko, after the guy in the movie.

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