Uncomfortable, Unusual, Unconventional

 

Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers: We invited guests to stay with us for the 4th of July weekend and when they showed up, they had their 16-year old son with them. We only have one guest room, but they said it wasn’t a problem because they could all sleep in the same bed!!! First, I was furious that they brought a third person with them. But secondly, I was dumbfounded that a 16-year old boy sleeps in the same bed as his parents. Don’t you find that really strange and perhaps a bit perverted? Hostess with Issues

Dear Hostess: We think that showing up with unexpected friends, children or pets is rude. However, once your friends arrived with a plus one, they had no choice but to deal with the available accommodation.

 

Consolation, Not Consultation

Dear Short Answers: When a person asks you for advice about getting a facelift, do you have to reassure them that they don’t need one?  Or can you tell them the truth and say that it would really, really be a good idea??? RWD

Dear RWD: It is generally pretty clear whether a person is asking for encouragement/support for a decision they have already made, or a little help in getting through a bad hair day. These questions are not about truth, they are about friendship.

 

Let It Go

Dear Short Answers: My boyfriend and I are planning to get married in the fall. We are both (Roman) Catholic, we both want kids and we agree on just about everything important. There’s only one silly problem. My boyfriend grew up in the city and I grew up in the suburbs. I can’t imagine trying to raise a family in the city. And I can’t imagine living in an apartment without a yard and neighbors. Do I let him have his way for now and hope that he eventually changes his mind? Or do we need to get this settled before we get married? Bride 2 B

Dear 2B: We smile at the thought that life issues “get settled” once and for all times — before or after you say “I do.” Marriage is an adventure with many things you “can’t imagine” in store for you. That’s the fun of it. And maybe YOU will change your mind and find a house with a yard and neighbors in the middle of a metropolis. They exist.

 

It’s Her Life, Not Yours

Dear Short Answers: My 21-year old little sister just went and got an ugly tattoo about the size of a baseball glove. She knew that it would make my dad, my brother and me very upset, but she went ahead with it and used my dad’s money to do it. We’ve always known that my sister is impulsive, stubborn (often times impossible) and doesn’t fully understand the consequences of her actions. She grew up with a learning disability, and we’re worried about her down the road– finding a job, a steady boyfriend, etc. We’ve tried babying her, leaving her be, and seemingly everything in between, but things remain difficult with her. What’s the best thing to do? Concerned Sibling

Dear CS: No matter what her issues, at 21 she is an adult. Her choices, whether you and your family like them or not, are her choices. Perhaps you need to accept her – exactly as she is. Tattoo and all.

 

i-Crazy

Dear Short Answers: My kid just asked for an i-Pad. We are barely making ends meet. But he says he needs it for school. What do I do? i-Crazy

Dear i-Crazy:Simple. Tell him no.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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