Short Answers / Equality Is A Fine Concept

Short Answers / Equality Is A Fine Concept

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
I have three sons of adult age.  Two of them have successful business careers but my youngest son is trying to be a professional musician and has had a difficult time making a living.  Consequently, I have given my youngest child a lot more financial help than the other two.  Apparently, my two older ones found out and are furious and are demanding that I treat them all equally.  I can certainly afford to give them all the same support, but I just didn’t think it was appropriate or necessary.  I feel like I’m being emotionally blackmailed but perhaps I should pay up just to keep the peace.  What do you think?
Mom
Dear Mom:
Many families take care of needy children and let the successful ones fend for themselves and it is generally very divisive. We agree with your older sons.

TRY THE BACK DOOR

Dear Short Answers:
A reasonably close friend of mine is getting married in the Spring and she has already started to send out “save the date” postcards to the people who are being invited.  So far, I have not received one.  I’m not sure whether she just assumes that I know the date and will “save it” or if I’m not being invited for some reason.  I don’t know how to bring this up to her without sounding like I’m inviting myself to her wedding or trying to make her feel guilty in some way.  But I also don’t want to keep the weekend available and wait for the actual wedding invitations to be mailed.  What do you suggest I do?
Still Waiting

Dear Waiting:
If you can’t wait for an invitation (but really, is your Spring calendar filling up now?), ask a friend who did receive the “save the date” to do a little spade work for you.

MOVING IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Dear Short Answers:
I am very torn about making a decision on selling our house after 25 years. I’ve been offered “cash” from a woman who looked at it 1-1/2 years ago — loves the charm of it and will make her own improvements. Our location is key in our village along the Hudson 30 minutes north of NYC. I’m separated from my husband, our kids are living out-of-town and probably won’t return to this residence. I’m torn because it’ll mean a major change for me to find either a rental or another home in this area which isn’t easily done. And, do we hold onto this house hoping the market will go up?
Move or Stay Put?

Dear Move:
Waiting until the market changes is just another excuse for not making a major change in your life. You are separated from your husband and your kids are out of the house. What are you waiting for? Moving is a great way to get your life heading in new and exciting directions.

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY
Dear Short Answers:
Is possible to be too nice?  No matter what anybody says to my husband, he just lets it roll off his back.  Doesn’t everybody need a little backbone now and then?
The Mrs.
Dear Mrs.:
Although we are often fond of the snarky comeback, the satisfaction is fleeting.  We think your husband has the right idea.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

Dear Short Answers:
I have three sons of adult age.  Two of them have successful business careers but my youngest son is trying to be a professional musician and has had a difficult time making a living.  Consequently, I have given my youngest child a lot more financial help than the other two.  Apparently, my two older ones found out and are furious and are demanding that I treat them all equally.  I can certainly afford to give them all the same support, but I just didn’t think it was appropriate or necessary.  I feel like I’m being emotionally blackmailed but perhaps I should pay up just to keep the peace.  What do you think?
Mom
Dear Mom:
Many families take care of needy children and let the successful ones fend for themselves and it is generally very divisive. We agree with your older sons.

TRY THE BACK DOOR

Dear Short Answers:
A reasonably close friend of mine is getting married in the Spring and she has already started to send out “save the date” postcards to the people who are being invited.  So far, I have not received one.  I’m not sure whether she just assumes that I know the date and will “save it” or if I’m not being invited for some reason.  I don’t know how to bring this up to her without sounding like I’m inviting myself to her wedding or trying to make her feel guilty in some way.  But I also don’t want to keep the weekend available and wait for the actual wedding invitations to be mailed.  What do you suggest I do?
Still Waiting

Dear Waiting:
If you can’t wait for an invitation (but really, is your Spring calendar filling up now?), ask a friend who did receive the “save the date” to do a little spade work for you.

MOVING IS THE BEST MEDICINE

Dear Short Answers:
I am very torn about making a decision on selling our house after 25 years. I’ve been offered “cash” from a woman who looked at it 1-1/2 years ago — loves the charm of it and will make her own improvements. Our location is key in our village along the Hudson 30 minutes north of NYC. I’m separated from my husband, our kids are living out-of-town and probably won’t return to this residence. I’m torn because it’ll mean a major change for me to find either a rental or another home in this area which isn’t easily done. And, do we hold onto this house hoping the market will go up?
Move or Stay Put?

Dear Move:
Waiting until the market changes is just another excuse for not making a major change in your life. You are separated from your husband and your kids are out of the house. What are you waiting for? Moving is a great way to get your life heading in new and exciting directions.

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY
Dear Short Answers:
Is possible to be too nice?  No matter what anybody says to my husband, he just lets it roll off his back.  Doesn’t everybody need a little backbone now and then?
The Mrs.
Dear Mrs.:
Although we are often fond of the snarky comeback, the satisfaction is fleeting.  We think your husband has the right idea.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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