Short Answers / Pick Your Poison

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
As I’ve gotten older, I guess I have gotten a bit more prudish and don’t appreciate all the sex and violence that I see on TV.  I don’t think it should be “banned” but I’m just not interested in watching it.  The problem is that the shows I find most offensive are the ones that everybody at work is always talking about.  And of course I can’t contribute to the conversation so I feel very left out.  Do you think it’s important to keep up with popular culture even if you think it’s offensive?
Too Much

Dear Too:
This is binary — watch the shows (you might even grow to like them ) or don’t and change the subject. Guns, Planned Parenthood or the Donald generally elicit some lively conversation.

NOT A SHORT ANSWER

Dear Short Answers:
My husband continues to use his cell phone for long conversations when the two of us are in the car together. I am usually driving but it still makes me nuts. I don’t want to listen to one side of a private conversation for 15 minutes. Do I continue to nag or should I threaten to “hit the road” unless he quits?
Crazed

Dear Crazed:
This is a big issue. The obvious answers (rude/unsafe) are beneath us. And you too.  There is a cultural discontinuity between the manners we believe in and the habits that technology have produced.  People who love us (and are considerate in every other way),  insult us by allowing random strangers to intrude on our private space. The car is an extreme example because it feels so personal — and confining.  Don’t nag — but make your point in the strongest possible way. We are on your side.

HOW TO MAKE YOUR DREAM COME TRUE

Dear Short Answers:
I’m at a crossroads in my career and trying to make my next move. I have a few potential options for a new position, but my gut isn’t telling me what’s right for me. I’m afraid of making the wrong move, but definitely ready to make one. How can you decide if a position is right for you and your long term career goals?
Betwixt & Between

Dear B&B:
If the current options aren’t ringing your chimes, look some more.  All important decisions have risk, but if you aren’t excited and optimistic going in, it is difficult to weather the inevitable “surprises” that come with a new venture and less likely to recognize the opportunities. Keep looking until you find something that makes you scared and happy and too excited to sleep.

STRONG SILENT TYPE

Dear Short Answers:
Why do boys give such short answers when talking online? If they like you, shouldn’t they put effort into the conversation?
Gimme More

Dear Gimme:
Sadly, a man or boy who loves to chat is a rare thing. Their skill is putting out just enough to keep us interested. This is why we have girlfriends.

LEARN A NEW LANGUAGE?

Dear Short Answers:
How do you navigate a year-long political season when it’s clear that you and your husband are on completely different sides of the fence?  A vow of silence?
Stalemated

Dear Stale:
Try board games — or more sex.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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