Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

BIAS TOWARD CLEAN

Dear Short Answers:
I am completely in love with my fiance except for one little thing.  He is a total slob.  He never makes his bed, he never washes dishes.  I don’t think he even knows what a vacuum cleaner is.  He’s one of those guys who piles his dirty laundry in a corner then tries to find the cleanest pair of underwear by smelling it.  I don’t have the fantasy that I can change him overnight but I do hope that I can teach him the value of cleanliness little by little.  I also fear that I will soon tire of picking up after him like a child and I don’t want to turn into a nagging wife.  Do you think there is hope for a neat freak and a slob to live happily ever after?
Thinning Patience

Dear Patience:
We know that guy! A complete change seems pretty unlikely. Nagging is not the answer. Try containment or some “corrective” theater. If possible, designate a man cave area where he can pile his stuff and you can close the door.  If that is not possible, then a large paper carton might do.  Cleaning help for public areas may help your anger and illustrate the ‘cost’ of cleanliness. Happily ever after? Like many other issues, the key is mutual respect.

 

LOVE AND KISSES

Dear Short Answers:
I have my 11-year old grandson over every Sunday. We have a great time, but my daughter has a million rules that I think are far too restrictive for an 11-year old. I follow the rules as best I can, but wonder if it is worth talking to her about. In the past she has been adamant.
Tied Up

Dear Tied:
Parenting follows fashion, grand-parenting probably does too.  You were loose as a goose, she’s tight as a tick. What’s to say?  Nothing.

P.S. If you see the kid once a week, you’re probably doing swell.

 

FOOD NAZI

Dear Short Answers:
Last weekend I had houseguests whom I have known for a long time. What they neglected to tell me is that they have become serious vegans and only eat organic, local produce if possible.  Luckily (???) they brought their own food with them but it was a constant source of embarrassment over the weekend.  They completely ruined my first night dinner party because they wouldn’t eat a thing and every meal became a lecture on the evils of processed food.  I will never invite them again but don’t you think that guests should keep their feelings about food to themselves and make a good faith effort to eat what the host offers?  If they can’t do that shouldn’t they stay in  hotel?
Offended

Dear Offended:
People with such rigid dietary requirements probably should not be houseguests (unless they are your kids, which is another story).  But certainly, they should keep their views to themselves unless asked by those who are sincerely interested. As for you, fragile flower, why did you permit them to “ruin” your party? Surely you might have said “eat or don’t eat but please don’t judge or proselytize at table.”

 

IN A WORD

Dear Short Answers:
My Boyfriend is going to jail for a year. Should I wait for him?
Lori

Dear Lori:
No.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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