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By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
My 78 year-old mother has a take on my “mistakes” that she feels she must repeat almost every time she sees me. It shakes me up every time and nothing I say keeps her from repeating it.  It’s embarrassing that it bothers me as much as it does, but there you go. I only agree with her criticism when I am really down on myself.  What do I do?
Sucker Punched

Dear Punched:
Many of us are more vulnerable to parental judgments than we would like to be.  But respect is a prerequisite for any relationship. Remind her that this is a conversation that you no longer want to have. Practice deflecting her comments instead of engaging in a debate.  Leaving the premises is also acceptable if you think you are being badgered.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

Dear Short Answers:
There is a 14-year old girl in our neighborhood who has recently starting baby sitting for us.  In talking to her and her parents, I found out that neither she nor her parents have a computer at home and that she has to use the public computers at school and at the library.  Her parents claim that they don’t want their daughter tied to a computer all day and they think that books are all the educational tools you need.  I completely disagree and I think that the lack of a computer is a huge detriment to this poor girl’s education.  Would it be wrong for me to buy her a computer as a gift for baby sitting?  I really think that her parents are doing her a disservice and if I ask them about a computer they will say “no.”  But I don’t think they will make her give it back if I buy it.  What do you think?
21st Century Citizen

Dear 21:
Provide her with use of a computer when she is at your home and leave it at that for now.  Her parents are her parents and that status allows them to make these decisions whether you agree or not.

PANDORA’S BOX

Dear Short Answers:
I have ill feelings that my husband is cheating. I would like to purchase and download spyware for my phone such as FlexiSpy in order to get some answers he is refusing to give me. As his wife, I feel that I have a right to know if my home, family and health are in danger.  Either way, knowledge is power and peace of mind. I’m interested mainly in FlexiSpy and other similar programs. What damage could they do? Do they contain a virus or Trojans?? Thanks.
Need to Know

Dear Need:
We don’t endorse this type of software because it is not a route that is likely to lead to a “trusting and mutually supportive” relationship in the future.   You may discover a lot more than you bargained for … look at we have already learned about you.

MUTUAL CONSENT

Dear Short Answers:
Is it possible to be friends with a girl you thought was just a one-night stand?
Dan

Dear Dan:
It depends on what she thought.

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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