Short Answers / LIFE STAGE

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

LIFE STAGE

Dear Short Answers:
It seems like everybody who has kids these days has no time left in their lives for their friends.  Should I give up trying to engage with parents of young kids and just wait until the kids go to college before trying to have an “adult” get together again?  My idea of a fun night out is NOT sitting at home watching the baby crawl around the floor.
DINK

Dear DINK:
Tedious, we agree. But unless your friends are truly crazy they will come to their senses and get a sitter soon.  You could even suggest it.

DOGGISH TO A FAULT

Dear Short Answers:
I hate dogs. I am not afraid of them. I just hate them. I came home from work last week and my wife had bought a puppy for my two young kids. She told me it would be good for them. The kids love the dog and I don’t know what to do. I’m furious at my wife. She said she didn’t ask me because she knew what I would say. How do I get rid of the animal and teach my wife a lesson?
Mad Dad

Dear Mad:
We confess: we are hopelessly and shamelessly pro-dog.  Although your wife was naughty in making this decision unilaterally — you have been gamed.  If you get rid of the dog, you are the Cad Dad. However, she definitely owes you a big one.

EXPECTATIONS

Dear Short Answers
Over the past couple of years my parents have gotten more and more frail and require a lot of care and attention.  Fortunately, my 3 brothers and I all live fairly close by and can stop by every day if we needed to.  Unfortunately, my parents have decided that as the only girl, I should be the one they turn to.  If they need an emergency trip to the doctor or somebody to pick up their dry cleaning, they call me.  They never, never call my brothers.  I have asked them “nicely” to call Mike or Ryan or Clay but they always call me.  One time, my father said, “I can’t call them, they all have jobs.”  My father knows perfectly well that I have a job, too but I guess he doesn’t think that a woman’s job is ever as important as a man’s.  Should I just refuse the next time they call?  Or give up and realize that they are never going to change?
Tired Sis

Dear TS:
Your parents will never change.  But perhaps your brothers will agree to be deployed — talk to them.

BETTER TOGETHER

Dear Short Answers:
After being out of work for two years, I got a great job offer in another city. How do I convince my husband that I need to take this job which might mean we will live apart five days a week?
Raring to Go

Dear Raring:
Collaborative decision-making is so much better than trying to insist on a particular outcome.  Tell him why you are excited about the opportunity and how you think you can manage the distance, as a couple.  Talk about the benefits of a new and different arrangement as well as the problems — he may surprise you!

WHAT WE KNOW

Dear Short Answers:
How does the human heart work?
Befuddled

Dear B:
The bass is steady, the melody is unpredictable.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

[livemarket market_name="KONK Life LiveMarket" limit=3 category=“” show_signup=0 show_more=0]