Say What

 

By Jeff Johnson And Paul Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
For the past 25 years I have pretty much spent all my time (and money) raising my three kids.  I certainly don’t regret it for a minute but I’m definitely glad that they are grown up and on their own. So I was surprised when my oldest daughter told me that she was pregnant and that she “expected” me to help raise her child (she is not married although she is living with the father).  I’m not sure what this means but I definitely do not plan to be an on-call, 24-hour a day baby sitter.  I’ve tried to explain this to my daughter but she gets hysterical and claims that raising grandkids is just as much my responsibility as raising kids.  I don’t know where she got this idea but I’m not sure what to do.  Do I need to make my position clearer NOW or should I just wait until the baby is born and make sure that I’m not available to help “raise” her child?
Grandma-to-Be

 

 

Dear Grandma:
Tell her frequently and often and right NOW that you are no longer on duty and that you will visit only as the spirit moves you.

IF IT FEELS FREAKY, IT IS FREAKY

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
Last year my daughter was a foreign exchange student in Norway so this year, as part of the program, we have taken in a student from Venezuela. She’s a lovely girl and my daughter and her have become great friends. The problem is my husband who I fear has become infatuated with her. He tries to spend as much time with her as possible. Even more time than he spends with his own daughter. I’ve talked to him about this but he claims that he’s only being a good “host parent.” I don’t want to go to the host committee that is sponsoring this exchange because I don’t want them to think that something strange might be going on (which I absolutely don’t think it is). But it’s starting to freak me out and I’m not sure what do to.
Mom

 

 

Dear Mom:
Tell him he is making you uncomfortable and he is only to spend time with the visiting student when accompanied by your daughter! Mean what you say and make other living arrangements for the girl if he does not agree.

CURIOSITY AND THE CAT

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
I have been happily married for 8 years and have 3 little kids. I never experimented with sex much when I was younger but I really want to find out more. I think I’m pretty good looking and guys flirt with me a lot. Is it okay if I try it out?
Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

 

 

Dear NoNo:
We are sympathetic with your inclination — but not with your intention. Three kids (not to mention a “good marriage”) is not “nothing ventured.” You are risking your whole life for a little taste of heaven? (Which BTW, could be disappointing, dangerous or merely embarrassing.)  Our suggestion:  put the kids to bed early and watch a steamy movie.

IT’S ABOUT VALUES

 

 

Dear Short Answers:
What do you do if you and your best friend both like the same guy? Is dating a guy worth losing your best friend over?
Jane

 

 

Dear Jane:
Best friends are hard to come by. Talk to her and we think you two will come up with the right thing to do.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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