Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

WE ARE NOT THE WALTONS

Dear Short Answers: It’s getting close to Christmas and I’m already dreading the obligatory family get-togethers. Do you have any secrets to getting through the holidays without killing yourself or your family? Apprehensive

Dear Apprehensive: We have found that giving up celluloid fantasies about what family life is supposed to be, appreciating others for what they are and not who you wished they were, and not drinking too much really helps a lot. Good Luck.

 

THE MESSAGE, NOT THE MEDIUM

Dear Short Answers: Because of some problems I have with arthritis, I have very poor handwriting. As a result, I tend to type everything including thank-you notes and even sympathy cards. I have a very easy program on my computer that prints my message right on the card and then I sign it by hand (which I try to make as legible as possible). It has gotten back to me that some people find a typewritten card to be very rude. I understand their feelings but I think I have found the best solution. Do you think I should add a note to all my cards that explains my condition and why it’s typed and not handwritten? JPK

Dear JPK: Absolutely NOT! No need to apologize or explain!

 

CLOUDY, CHANGE OF SPITBALLS

Dear Short Answers: I have been dating a man for over a year and things are starting to get serious. When we first met I knew that he had been married before and that didn’t bother me. But I recently found out that he has been married FOUR times before. He swears that there were good reasons for all his failed marriages and that they weren’t all his fault. I want to believe him but it still concerns me that this guy just might not be able to sustain a long-term relationship. Do you think that a four-time loser can mend his ways? Hoping

Dear Hope: No, this guy does not sound like a good long-term bet. There is something very wonky in his decision-making.

 

EASY ONE

Dear Short Answers: I invited a couple to a cocktail party starting at 8 p.m. They brought their 4-month old daughter. They spent the entire night trying to stop her from crying. I invited the same couple to a costumed Halloween cocktail party at 8 p.m. Invite stated, “A night of adult fun, no children please.” They brought same daughter, now 11 months old, and spent the night chasing her around. Would it now be rude to exclude them from the Christmas cocktail party? They never show up for potlucks, BBQ’s, or anything during the day when the kids are invited. Tot Invasion

Dear T: You have every right to an adult evening. Leave them off your list until they discover babysitters.

 

FLASHING RED!

Dear Short Answers: He’s 49, I’m 27. We are both married. The whole deal is hotter and more unlikely than you can possibly imagine. But I would never leave my husband — not for him; not for anyone. I think he still loves his wife and certainly his children. What should I do? Overcome

Dear Over: You’ve had your fun, now get out. Immediately. That you have not yet caused irreparable damage is your Christmas present from the universe. Do not squander your good fortune.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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