Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

THE FORMERLY SARTORIAL

Dear Short Answers: My husband decided that since he retired last year, he doesn’t need to shave, shower or wear clean clothes every day. He’s not lazy. He plays golf, works in the yard, visits the grandkids, etc. etc. He just doesn’t like what he calls “maintenance functions.” Should I make a big deal about this or hope that it’s just a phase and that soon he will get tired of being dirty and start cleaning himself again? Kinda Like Good Grooming

Dear Kinda Like: We couldn’t agree with you more! However, we have known many (mostly men, but not exclusively) who have equated retirement from work with the end of basic fashion and even hygienic standards.  Some if it is confusion — if not a jacket and tie, then what? But the answer is surely and absolutely not the abdication from reasonable standards — they just need to be re-interpreted. You can help! Tell him he needs a new wardrobe for his new life and it’s important to you because you still think he’s VERY HANDSOME!

 

TAKE YOUR CHANCES

Dear Short Answers: I’m at that stage of life when one by one my friends are getting sick and dying off. I’m not ready to die myself (not by a long shot!) but I also don’t want to be the last man standing, if you know what I mean. How do I make younger friends without appearing like a lecherous or desperate old man? Getting On

Dear On: Making friends based on date-of-birth, dental records or latest health reports seems both desperate and a titch vulgar. Try screening for like sensibilities — it is the only answer.

 

IF IT SMELLS BAD; IT IS BAD

Dear Short Answers: A man and I have feelings for each other but we live about 5 hours apart. We have both agreed that we won’t be doing anything with other people until he decides if long distance is something he can handle or not. Am I the only one who finds it bizarre that we like each other, are pretty much off the market, but are not dating yet? What’s the point? Why don’t we just date? Waiting

Dear Waiting: Why is it that he is doing the deciding and you are doing the waiting? This is not an auspicious beginning.

 

FAMILIAR PAINS

Dear Short Answers: My daughter from a first marriage is disabled and my wife and I partly support her and my grandson. Once in awhile her ex doesn’t pay support and we can never decide how much more help to give. The judicial system isn’t quick enough to help. It causes some tension at home. Any ideas? Standing In

Dear S.I.: Since this is a re-occurring event, perhaps you and your wife need to decide how you want to handle it and then stick to your guns. What you decide is less important than deciding together once and for all.

 

WASTING HER TIME

Dear Short Answers: I have been going out with a girl for about two years and I get the feeling that she wants to start talking about marriage. I’m not ready for marriage and I wouldn’t really consider it with her anyway. Should I just keep ignoring her hints and change the subject? Or do I really need to just tell her no way! John

Dear John: Yes, you really need to tell her, “No way.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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