Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

IMPORTANCE OF BEING EQUAL

Dear Short Answers: My husband’s mother comes from the old school where a wife was completely subservient to her husband. So despite the fact that I make just as much money as my husband does, she treats me like a second-class person. I wouldn’t mind this so much because we don’t see her very often but the problem is that my husband treats me the same way when his mother is around. I’ve asked him nicely to stop but he swears he doesn’t act any different when she’s around (which is NOT TRUE!!!). How do I get him to treat me like his equal even when his mother is in the room??? Equal Partner

Dear Equal: He is obviously regressing to a childhood (and childish) pattern around his mom. Lighten up. Gentle teasing or perhaps a private signal when he lapses into disrespect might work. And for the record, we think equal partnership is an entitlement that is not necessarily based on equal earnings.

 

PITIFUL HER

Dear Short Answers: What’s the right way to compliment a woman who looks especially nice at work? The other day I said, “My goodness you look terribly nice today” and she replied, “What do you mean by that? Don’t I look nice the other days?” Should I just give up and keep my compliments to myself or is it possible to say something nice to a woman and not get yelled at? Bill

Dear Bill: Strangely enough, there are some women who, in spite of great parenting, a fine education and many successful life experiences, have not learned to gracefully accept a compliment. Feminist paranoia notwithstanding, we believe the problem is entirely hers.  We wish you many smiling recipients.

 

FRIENDS WITHOUT PRIVILEGES

Dear Short Answers: I lost my job a couple of months ago and my roommate has been paying all the bills. He doesn’t complain, but I think he may be expecting more than just being “roommates” if you know what I mean. I’m not gay and I didn’t think that he was either. I joked about it with him and he was furious and defensive. But I still get a weird feeling and I’m not sure what to do. I can’t afford to move out and I still like him as a friend, just not as a lover. How do I clear the air? Feeling Awkward

Dear FA: Out with it! Ask him if he has something on his mind he wants to discuss — it may not be sex at all. Maybe he just wants to know when you will get a job and pay him the money you owe him!

 

A MILLION STORIES IN THE NAKED CITY

Dear Short Answers: Do all boys just want one thing? Looking for Help

Dear LFH: We wish it were that easy. Some want sex, some want love, some want mommy, some want daddy, some want friendship, some want danger. Many don’t know what they want — which is why it is important that you know what you want.

 

IT’S PERSONAL

Dear Short Answers: How many bras and underpants should one have at any one time? Joy

Dear Joy: Well, there are many ways to think about this — but let’s start with one for every day of the week (labeled, or not, that’s a matter of taste) and work up or down from there.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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