Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

ARTFUL NEGOTIATION

Dear Short Answers: My husband is 68 years and in perfect health.  But he is obsessed with “not being a burden” to anybody when he gets older.  He has started to talk about moving into an assisted living facility so “we’re ready” when the time comes.  My philosophy is to wait as long as possible before giving up and moving to an old folks home.  Do you think it’s all just talk or should I be concerned?  He manages all the money so when he decides to move, I won’t have a choice Help

Dear Help: Whether or not “he manages all the money,” you certainly “have a choice” in this matter.  This is a serious conversation about which there are many views. We urge you to give voice to yours.  (BTW, assisted living does not mean “giving up” nor is it respectful to your husband’s view to refer to it that way.  (Ditto “old

folks home”)

 

THE LESS SAID, THE BETTER

Dear Short Answers: A good friend of mine recently passed away very suddenly and a bunch of his friends (including me) decided to go to a strip club to “celebrate” because we all knew that he went there often.  He even had a couple of favorite strippers who we tipped generously that night.  His wife, unfortunately, was appalled.  Apparently, she didn’t know that he frequented this place and she thought our behavior was disgusting.  Should I try to explain WHY we went there or just let her think we are all insensitive idiots? FOB

Dear FOB: Live with the “insensitive idiot” tag.  Explaining will only dig a deeper hole.

 

NOTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE OR WAR

Dear Short Answers: My girlfriend and I decided to get married and started to plan the wedding about a year ago. As soon as we set the date, we put down deposits on a room, a caterer, a band, etc. Neither of us has much money so we decided to split everything 50/50. About a month ago, she told me that she changed her mind and doesn’t want to marry me after all. She won’t return my phone calls, so I’m left trying to cancel everything and get some of the money back. Since she was the one who changed her mind, I feel like I should get all my money back first and if there is anything left over, send it to her (if I can find her). Do you think that’s fair? KD

Dear KD: Your solution smacks of revenge. So be it, if it makes you feel better, but “fair” is hard to determine.

 

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