By Jeff Johnson & Paula Forman

SECRETS CAN BE COSTLY

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship except for one thing — money.  I work and earn good money, but he wants to know where every penny goes and how much everything costs. I got so tired of it that I opened up a bank account of my own … so that I can buy a few things here and there without having to explain myself. Now, I am feeling guilty. Should I close out the account? Should I fess up and face the consequences? Or should I keep hiding this and know that a little guilt is the price I pay for a bit of financial freedom?


The Penny Pincher’s Wife

 

Dear Penny:
Couples often have different views about money and it can lead to real problems. We think you are entitled to some financial independence AND we would urge you to at least come to a well-understood and honest truce.

 

WHEN NOT IS ABSOLUTELY GOOD ENOUGH

 

Dear Short Answers:
Is it wrong not to go to visit a friend who is in the hospital? Hospitals make me very nervous and depressed. Can’t I just send a note or flowers?
Don’t Want to Go

 

Dear Don’t Want To:
It is absolutely NOT necessary to go to the hospital. Some of us actually prefer NOT to be seen in debilitated conditions. Notes, flowers, books, magazines or offers to walk the dog are suitable expressions of caring.

 

SMILE, NOD, PRESERVE MYSTERY

 

Dear Short Answers:
Even though I just turned 50, it seems that younger men (I am gay) are starting to find me very attractive. Maybe it’s a “daddy” thing. Maybe I just look “distinguished” and “employed.” But what does it matter? Shouldn’t I just take advantage of it while it lasts and fool around as much as possible. My friends all tell me to be careful because these younger guys just want my money. I say “go for it!” What do you think?
Just Me

 

Dear Me:
Feeling attractive and wanted is a beautiful thing. Enjoy it, treasure it, store the feeling for a rainy day.  However, it need not translate to fooling around “as much as possible.” Just saying.

 

DICKENSIAN CHRISTMAS

 

Dear Short Answers:
I run a small business with 6 employees. Business was not great this year and I’m pretty sure that I will need to lay-off one employee. I think they all know this because it’s pretty obvious that we don’t have enough customers to keep everyone busy. Is it better to lay off this person BEFORE the holidays so that everybody else can relax? Or should I wait until January?


Wanna Be Fair

 

Dear Wanna:
Wait ’til January.

 

UNJOYFUL COMBINATION

 

Dear Short Answers:
Is it okay to be a lesbian if you don’t really like the sex part but just really, really hate all men?


Just True

 

Dear Just:
No. Disliking “the sex part” and hating men does not add up to lesbian.

 

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to KonkLife@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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