Dear Short Answers:

What’s the right age to lay your foot down and kick the kids out of the house? My husband and I want our home back!!!
Long Suffering Mom

Dear LSM:

In our experience, adult children living with parents has as many negatives as positives so you just might be doing your kids a favor by kicking them out of the nest.  There is no right age but anything over 21 seems okay to us.



Dear Short Answers:

My best friend, Matt, is madly in love with another man who just happens to still be married to a woman. Matt tells everyone how much they are in love with each other and how this was a “match made in heaven,” etc. etc. etc. The new boyfriend has asked me (confidentially) to please tell Matt that he’s not ready for love and definitely not ready for a gay commitment. I feel caught in the middle. I know I should stay out of their relationship but knowing what I know, I also want to keep Matt from getting hurt too badly. What should I do?
Matt’s BF

Dear MFF:

Tell your friend that you will not be the go-between.  There are about 9,000 scenario’s that might occur as a result of such cowardice.  None of them are good.



Dear Short Answers:

My parents are in their 90s and getting to the point where they truly need to be watched very carefully. Nothing bad has happened but … it might at any time. Every year, they spend 2 weeks at a beach house that has been in the family for generations. This year, I told them that I am going to come with them. They were quite annoyed and have refused to let me stay at the house. So if I want to go, I have to pay for a hotel.  Since they are being so difficult, should I leave them alone and let the chips fall where they may? If they have an accident, I will feel terrible. What do you suggest?
Trying to Be Helpful

Dear Helpful:

This is a very tough one. Try one more time. Tell them you really would like to spend time with them … and be at the beach. Perhaps bring a friend as a buffer and you can assess their capabilities. Promise FUN not surveillance.



Dear Short Answers:

I accidentally sent a dinner party invitation to a husband and wife who I haven’t seen in several months. It was only after I had sent the invitation that I found out that the husband had died about 2 months ago. The wife has not responded to my invitation and I’m wondering whether I should call her to apologize (which will only reinforce my insensitivity) or just ignore the matter altogether.
Meant No Harm

Dear MNH:

Write another note — or an email saying you were unaware of her loss, but that you hope she will join you at the dinner party.



Dear Short Answers:

I’m a 56-year old gay man.  What’s the youngest boyfriend I can get before people start talking about it behind my back?
Looking Around

Dear Looking:

We think 10 years is the legal limit unless you are casting for a son.


Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.  Send a question about whatever is bothering you to or go to and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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