Short Answers / QUITTING YOUR DAY JOB

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
I have a very good friend who is an excellent attorney and has a very good job. The problem is that he desperately wants to be a singer/songwriter. I have heard him a couple of times at private parties and once at a local bar. Sadly, he is terrible. And it’s not just my opinion. Pretty much everybody who has ever heard him thinks he’s terrible. I want to encourage his “creativity” so every time he asks me for an opinion, I lie and tell him how terrific he is. But now he is talking about quitting his job and pursuing his music full-time. All his friends think this is a disastrous idea and have asked me to convince him to keep doing what he’s good at and stop this music nonsense. Should I do this? Or let him make his own mistakes? P.S. He has a stay-at-home wife and two kids so it’s not just his life at risk here.
Dilemma Dan

Dear Dan:
This is not your decision to make. Regrettably, your well-intentioned encouragement may have mislead him. If you can find a way to tell him that although you have admiration for one who is bold enough to pursue a challenging hobby, it might be wise to “test market” his offerings more broadly before making the leap, you would be giving him truthful advice. But at the end of the day this is up to him and his wife.

THE 30-YEAR ITCH

Dear Short Answers:
After 30 years of marriage my husband has decided that he wants nothing to do with my family. He doesn’t mind if I spend time with them but he refuses to even acknowledge their existence. He says that he just doesn’t find them interesting and doesn’t understand why he has to waste his time with people he doesn’t really like. So if I want to spend a major holiday with my family, I have to do it alone. I’m baffled and frankly really angry at him. Are other families this dysfunctional?
Joan

Dear Joan:
Yes. And BTW, he is obviously angry as well.

 

TRY THE BACK DOOR

Dear Short Answers:
A reasonably close friend of mine is getting married in the Spring and she has already started to send out “save the date” postcards to the people who are being invited. So far, I have not received one. I’m not sure whether she just assumes that I know the date and will “save it” or if I’m not being invited for some reason. I don’t know how to bring this up to her without sounding like I’m inviting myself to her wedding or trying to make her feel guilty in some way. But I also don’t want to keep the weekend available and wait for the actual wedding invitations to be mailed. What do you suggest I do?
Still Waiting

Dear Waiting:
If you can’t wait for an invitation (but really, is your Spring calendar filling up now?), ask a friend who did receive the “save the date” to do a little spade work for you.

IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that a marriage between one really gorgeous person and one really ugly person can work?
Just Asking

Dear Just:
Certainly not if the people involved see themselves as you see them.

 

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