Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

ONCE UPON A TIME

Dear Short Answers:
I own a small business, and I’m head over heels in love with the man that I run it with. (It turns out that the feeling is mutual.) I know that I can’t have a personal relationship with him and risk messing up our professional relationship — I can’t run the business without him. How can I get over my feelings for him while still working so closely together?
In Love

Dear Love:
Assuming neither of you are married to other people, we see possibilities here. Don’t mess with it if you think it is just an infatuation but if you are really in love and willing to work as hard at your relationship as you do at your business — you wouldn’t be the first couple in the world to combine business with pleasure.

 

SELF-RESPECT

Dear Short Answers:
I work really hard at child care, elder care and service to my community. I serve on the Board of Education in my town which is endlessly time consuming. I really like what I do but because I don’t get a pay check, I feel like my friends think my responsibilities are “optional.” I am the one who is always expected to accommodate to their schedule. I really don’t want to make a scene but if someone breaks a date again because they “have so much work” after I have arranged “my work” to be able to meet them I think I will scream. Any ideas?
Daisy Do Right

Dear Ms. Right:
Haven’t you heard? American culture values $$ over nearly everything else, lip service to family values and community service not withstanding. YOU must respect yourself and your choices before your friends will. Let’s assume the best: they really never thought about your commitments. Next time someone presumes that you will cheerfully “understand” or “accommodate” say, “This is VERY inconvenient. Please don’t do it again.”

 

LIKE IT OR LEAVE

Dear Short Answers:
I meet a woman in my neighborhood for breakfast occasionally. I’ve seen others roll their eyes when this woman’s name is mentioned and I never understood why. Now I get it– she is a name dropper like I’ve never seen before. It’s so annoying and gauche, talking about events to which others were not invited. I don’t even know how to respond except to say “sounds fun.” I wonder if this is deliberate or completely thoughtless. When I bump in to her around town now, I want to reverse course and run. Why do people do this?  What is a polite way to respond?
Not Interested

Dear Not:
People do this to make themselves appear important. Respond politely — all other options are decidedly NOT.

 

IN A WORD

Dear Short Answers:
There is an adorable guy in town that I would love to have sex with (I am a gay male, by the way) — but he’s been married for over 20 years to a woman who happens to be a friend of mine.  So I figured it was never going to happen. However, I recently found out that he’s been fooling around with guys on the side so I figured I might have a chance. Since he’s already broken his marriage vows with other guys, would it be wrong for me to have sex with my friend’s husband?
Still a Sista

Dear Sista:
Yes, it would be wrong. What are you thinking?

 

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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