Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

RECOVERY RX

Dear Short Answers,
I am a recovering alcoholic and I have to say that online cocktail parties are the best thing that ever happened to me since going sober. I can have fun with my drinking friends while they drink but not have to sit in a bar (which I can’t do) and not be tempted by people physically drinking around me. My friends are all dying to go into a real bar and drink together. How can I convince them to keep this up online?
Seriously Sober
Dear Sober:
Glad the online party works for you. We suspect that it will be quite a while until people feel comfortable congregating in bars. Perhaps others will decide staying home works for them as well for their own reasons. This isn’t a debate, it’s a discovery.

THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK

Dear Short Answers:
What are some of the best excuses to give your boss in order to skip work? This all day Zooming is making me CRAZY. I can’t say I have the flu.
Need a Break

Dear Break:
Excuses are usually painfully transparent. Tell the boss what you told us — totally valid. 

FOR RICHER OR POORER; FAT OR THIN

Dear Short Answers:
Ever since we got engaged, my girlfriend has gotten fatter and fatter and fatter. If I even hint at this, she goes berserk and threatens to call off the wedding. I’m tempted to call her bluff because I would be humiliated to walk down the aisle with this bigger, fatter, grotesque version of the girl I asked to be my wife.  What do I do?
Engaged to a Fatty

Dear Engaged:
Call us superficial, but we understand that how a person looks is part of the “package” you fall in love with. But it isn’t the whole deal. It may be that food is how your fiancee deals with stress (and she surely isn’t alone in that). Tell her that you understand the issue and want to help in any way you can AND that it is important to you because you know she is a beauty.

IF YOU CAN’T BE GOOD, BE CAREFUL

Dear Short Answers:
I will never have sex again, unless I cheat on my husband. Our relationship is pretty good but completely asexual. I am only 50. What should I do?
Sorely Tempted

Dear Tempted:
Only you can anticipate the consequences of an infidelity on your marriage. And only you can evaluate what the loss of an active sex life means for you. We urge you to think about all possibilities and the consequences carefully.

ONE STEP AT A TIME

Dear Short Answers:
I have an adult relative who does not know he has a half-brother. He is an “only” child and his parents have now passed away and he will never know unless we tell him. Do we have the right to give him this information and let him decide if he wants to pursue it or not say anything at all? There are still elderly living relatives who could fill in some information for him if we decide to say something.
Thank you.
By-Standers

Dear By-Standers,
Sounds like you want to give him this information. Sounds right to us but stop there and have no expectations about the outcome. Stand clear.

HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Dear Short Answers:
My BF doesn’t call or text me anymore. Is it that he’s cheating?
Missing Him

Dear MH:
Well, we don’t know if he’s cheating but it doesn’t sound like he is interested.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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