Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

STOP, LOOK, LISTEN

Dear Short Answers:
I live with my boyfriend of six years. We had everything planned out — getting married in 2020, new house next year, kids in three to four. However, now he says he’s not yet ready for these things and doesn’t know when he will be. How long do I wait for him before I move on? I am now 30 and worried I am too old to start dating again, and really don’t want to be with anyone else anyway. But these things are important to me. Help!
Thank you,
Trapped in Limbo

Dear Trapped:
If, after six years, your BF isn’t ready for marriage and a family, he will never be ready. If this is what you want, you had best move on.

A LOW INCENTIVE SITUATION

Dear Short Answers:
Is it okay to be friends with an ex …. even if your guy doesn’t like him?
Wannabefriends

Dear Wanna:
Of course your guy doesn’t like your ex. We think it’s okay to be friends, but don’t inflict them on each other and don’t talk about it.

JUST SAY NO

Dear Short Answers:
For the past couple of years, I have been commuting over two hours each way to work. I have searched and searched for a closer job but there is nothing as good as the job I have. The problem is that my wife says we can’t move closer to work until our girls graduate from high school. That will be another five years. I don’t think I can do it anymore. I am tempted to just quit my job and go on welfare. My wife and girls would certainly get a big surprise. But I know that is stupid and mean. Can you help me figure out what to do?
Six o’ Stew

Dear Stew:
You and your wife need to have a serious discussion — one person making the “supreme sacrifice” for all the others is not a family. It’s not even a good deal. Millions of kids move every year — and live to complain about it! (Later they will tell you it was character building.)

STAND AND DELIVER

Dear Short Answers:
My son is finishing his second year at a small liberal arts college. It is, of course, expensive and while he is doing passably well, he is not close to working up to his potential judged by his high school grades and test scores. What effort is good enough to justify the thousands of dollars we are spending. Should we demand more than just getting by?
Too Demanding?

Dear Too:
Set a standard and stick to it. If his grades don’t meet your standard then he should go to a state school where he can do “passable” work on a much lower tab.

 

THE SOUND OF MUSIC

Dear Short Answers:
Why do women have to talk so much?
A Silent Type

Dear Type:
For women, talking is like breathing. It is essential because connecting with others is their life’s work.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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