Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

A QUESTION OF HONOR

Dear Short Answers:
My sister just put together a family scrapbook and made copies for everyone in the family. The problem is that she included my siblings and their spouses but didn’t include my same sex partner of 10 years. I asked her about this and she said “I had to draw the line somewhere. I couldn’t include everybody.” I was speechless. I don’t think this is about the size of the scrapbook. I think it’s blatant homophobia. Do I confront her — or just let it go?
So Angry

Dear So:
There is no way you can let this go. Tell your sister exactly how you feel and don’t soft pedal it — this is a line in the sand.

SAY WHAT?

Dear Short Answers:
My husband likes to smoke pot and I don’t (we are both in our 50s and live in a state where it’s still illegal). I have asked him many times to stop but he won’t. I finally reached my limit and, to make a long story short, I called the cops. They came to the house but didn’t do anything. I knew they wouldn’t. I confessed to my husband that I called them and now he won’t talk to me at all. That was almost a month ago. He wants me to apologize. I say that he should apologize. He was doing something illegal. What do I do to get him to realize that he’s wrong? P.S. He still smokes pot.
All About the Law

Dear Law:
Your husband has a better sense of humor than we would under the circumstances — lighten up. Or light up — it might help.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK

Dear Short Answers:
I started a new job about a year ago and am very happy. But I still get calls from my ex-co-workers who want to have a drink or lunch or something. I always make up an excuse and don’t go. But how do I tell them that we were only friends because we worked together and that I don’t really like them? They don’t seem to be getting the message at all.
New Broom

Dear New:
They will get it – very soon. Count on it.

STAYING CONNECTED

Dear Short Answers:
I am married and currently work 7500 miles away from my family.  My contract expires in 3 months. Should I renew my contract and remain separated from my family or should I return home and try to find work so I can be with my family? Being able to provide for my family will be a challenge back in the U.S. and I need to provide for all and need to accomplish both. What do you recommend I do now and for the next 12 months?
Traveling Man

Dear Traveling:
Long separations from family have inherent risk, but are a fact of life in a global economy. Your chance of managing it successfully depends upon communicating effectively with your wife. You must make the decision with her because she will share the burdens of distance as well as the rewards.

DO RIGHT

Dear Short Answers:
Is it okay to do the right thing for the wrong reason. (The ethicist never answered me.)
Still Waiting

Dear Still:
Yes, of course.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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