Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

GUESS WHO ISN’T COMING FOR DINNER

Dear Short Answers:
It’s Sunday and I’m alone. I have a girlfriend who I think I really love but she has said right from the beginning that her priorities are her two girls (9 and 11). I do find that charming — and it gives me a lot of freedom. But sometimes it feels like a major constraint. When we are all together,r I feel tolerated not welcomed. Short question: Will I ever be her numero uno?
Sundays in My Head with Me

Dear Sunday:
In a word: NO. If you are an outsider now, you are an outsider later. Dude, you decide if this is what you want, because this is what you got.

BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Dear Short Answers:
Why is putting the toilet seat down such a big deal for women? When I pee I always lift the seat up so I don’t pee all over it. Why can’t women put it down when they sit? This makes no sense to me. Women can’t be so stupid that they can’t figure it out.
Still Standing

Dear SS:
This isn’t about stupidity, it is about civility. We suspect you also chew with your mouth open, spit on the street, and fart as the spirit moves you. Look for a woman who does the same.

DRUGS OF PREFERENCE

Dear Short Answers:
My fiancé and I live in a state where marijuana is legal. At our wedding dinner we would love to have some cannabis brownies or cookies or something like that as an alternative (or additive!) to the alcohol we would normally serve. Obviously, we would label it clearly so that no one would eat some by mistake.  All four of our parents are appalled by this idea.  One solution might be to only allow adults at the dinner and maybe have something else for the kids.  But even that isn’t enough to satisfy our parents. What do you think?
Bobbie and Bob

Dear B&B:
We think it is very considerate to offer an alcohol alternative. How about a few vapes in the hands of bartenders? Edibles are too attractive to kids — and long lasting for hapless adults.

A DELICATE BALANCE

Dear Short Answers:
My mother is a mean-spirited narcissist. At almost 80 years old, she still says horrid things about her (mostly ex-) friends and her grandchildren and anyone else that comes her way. I try to be nice to her. I call her regularly and send gifts at holidays. I truly try to do the right thing, but the fact is, I haven’t seen her in ten years. What is my responsibility to this woman that I don’t really even like?
Nice Enough?

Dear Enough:
If in ten years, neither of you have required a visit, then perhaps the feelings are mutual. Distance can be respectful, and responsible.

HUH?

Dear Short Answers:
How do you feel about a casual e-mail to a guy for a semi-good reason. Just to try to start a friendship? Is it the same as calling a guy?
Amy

Dear Amy:
This is 2019. You can vote, work, have sex with whomever you choose and yes, you can e-mail, call, or knock on his door.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

[livemarket market_name="KONK Life LiveMarket" limit=3 category=“” show_signup=0 show_more=0]