Short Answers
By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman
MID-LIFE CRISIS
Dear Short Answers:
Ever since I was in my 20′s, I have wanted to have sex with two women at the same time. Now that I am about to turn 50, my wife has “offered” to let me do it. She refuses to participate herself but has agreed that if I can find two women to have sex with me, then I should go at it. She has also made it clear that she can’t promise how she’ll feel after it happens and that I should be prepared to suffer the consequences. First of all, that doesn’t sound like much of a birthday present. And second, what do you think she means by “suffer the consequences.” She won’t explain any more than that.
Eric
Dear Eric:
We think she is sick of hearing you talk about it. “Suffer the consequences” has two operative words — “suffer” and “consequences.” Which one of those words do you not understand?
TEACHABLE MOMENTS
Dear Short Answers:
I have a good friend whose kid is acting out in very aggressive ways toward her. The baby is hitting her and throwing food — is this normal?
Concerned
Dear Concerned:
It is very normal, but in our view, should not be tolerated. When a baby hits a parent, put the baby down. When a baby throws food, take the food away. Discipline starts with the parent.
NO ISSUE
Dear Short Answers:
I lent an expensive necklace to a friend to wear to a party right after Thanksgiving. I didn’t make a big deal about its value because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. However, she has not yet returned it. Do you think she might have misunderstood and thought it was a gift? Now what?
Awkward
Dear Awkward:
Just tell her you hope she enjoyed wearing the necklace and now you would like it back. Don’t over think this one.
CLEARING THE AIR
Dear Short Answers:
My sister-in-law made up and gifted a small photo album to each family member. She included photos of all nephews/nieces except for my child. I can’t imagine why this oversight occurred because she had plenty of photos to work with of everyone. This feels quite odd and a bit hurtful. I heard she didn’t give one of the nephews a gift last year in order to make some kind of point to him, so I would not put this immaturity past her. What might I say to her about this, if anything? Family relations feel impacted whether or not I say anything.
Wanda
Dear Wanda:
Your sister-in-law sounds like a piece of work. We admire your immediate restraint — we would have slugged her — but now it is time to talk turkey. You might start with “whatever were you thinking when you chose to exclude my child from your family photo project?” If she says it was an oversight — demand a recall of the “faulty” product.
JUST SAY NOTHING
Dear Short Answers:
How do I keep from spilling the “whole truth” about my ex? I hate it when other women do it, but it’s soooo tempting.
Wronged
Dear Wronged:
We so get the temptation, and so admire restraint. You will feel a slight tingle when doing the right thing.
Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.
Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.
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