Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

Dear Short Answers:
My husband recently got a new job and we are planning to move to Charlotte, North Carolina. We have two kids (4 and 6) and we’re all very excited about the move. The problem is that my parents (who currently live only a few blocks away) are devastated that we are moving and “taking away their grandchildren.” To be honest, my parents were wonderful support when the kids were very little and I will be forever grateful. But they are now hinting that they might move to Charlotte as well since they are both retired. I am not sure if they are truly serious but I definitely think it’s time to cut the cord. How do I tell them not to do this without crushing them?
Grown-Up Daughter

Dear Daughter:
We hear you, but hold your fire. There will be many visits and much discussion and all the usual obstacles before they actually move. They are just thinking out loud. If you tell them that you don’t want them nearby now, you will certainly hurt them — and make us wonder how  grateful you really were for their support when YOU needed it.

IF THINE EYE OFFENDS THEE

Dear Short Answers:
My husband is a big believer that sunlight is better than privacy so he never ever closes a blind or a curtain in our home — including the bathroom. Which means that he walks around totally naked in full view of our next door neighbors.  They do not have any young children in their household but the wife asked me if I could “encourage” him to be more discrete.  Since my husband refused, our neighbors keep all their curtains closed on that side of their house.  My husband just says, “let ‘em look if they want to.” Do I need to nail the curtains to the bathroom window or just ignore the whole thing?
The Wife

Dear Wife:
We think you can take a pass on this one.

BREEDING OUTS

Dear Short Answers:
I have two small dogs (one male and one female) and go to the dog park in my town almost every day. There are two male dogs that won’t leave our girl alone. They are much larger and constantly try to mount her (which terrifies her). I have asked the owner of the larger dogs to control them but her attitude is “that’s what male dogs do.” I am furious. From a female point-of-view, this just reminds me that males are ALWAYS in control and women had better just roll over and like it. What do you think?
Pissed Off

Dear PO:
We love your feminist analogy but sometimes bad manners are just bad manners. Appeal to the authorities of the dog park.

IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

Dear Short Answers:
Is it true that a couple will be much happier in life if both of them are equally attractive (or equally unattractive)? I’m concerned that my new boy friend is much too cute for me although it doesn’t seem to bother him at all. I worry about our long-term prospects.
Not So Cute

Dear cute:
We don’t know where you got this idea about “equal attractiveness” but we think it’s nonsense.

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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