Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

JUST THREE LITTLE WORDS

Dear Short Answers:
My husband is only 38 years old but is already losing his hair. It doesn’t really bother me but apparently, it really, really bothers him because he has started to do the dreaded COMB-OVER! I have not come right out and said anything but I have hinted as loudly as I could. I have told him how much better his previous hair style looked and asked if he has changed barbers. He has not taken the hint. I am worried that one day I will simply blurt out “You aren’t fooling anybody!!!” Any suggestions?
Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed:
We are embarrassed you don’t know the answer. It’s short. 

SIGNS AND WONDERS

Dear Short Answers:
I have been having an affair with a woman at work for the past three years (we are both married). I knew it was wrong, but we couldn’t stop ourselves. Now she is pregnant and won’t even speak to me. How can I find out if this is my baby or not? If it is, I think it’s a sign that we should be together. But she refuses to discuss this and tells me that it’s over. Don’t I have a legal right to know?
Dan

Dear Dan:
The sign we believe in is that for three years you both chose not to divorce and not to be together. The pregnancy apparently helped her decide. Paternity tests and legal rights are above our pay grade but we think now is a good time for you to move to another planet. 

PARENTING 101

Dear Short Answers:
My daughter is 6 years old and has become obsessed with beauty pageants. Believe me, I have no idea why this happened. I am completely opposed to the idea but she is insistent and talks of nothing else. Even though I don’t believe that young girls should participate in such nonsense, would it be wrong for me to let her try it at least once?
Confused

Dear Confused:
So, if your daughter wanted to try drugs, just once, what would you say? We understand that kids are only kids but parents are standard bearers for values.  

PTSD

Dear Short Answers:
I have two good friends who are getting a divorce and absolutely DEMANDING that everyone take sides. It’s a small town and one party definitely knows if you’ve even talked to the other person. The truth is that I’m much closer to the wife than to the husband. Should I try to treat them both equally or give in to the wife’s demands and avoid even speaking to her ex?
Don’t Know What to Do

Dear DKWTD:
Give every one a bit of time to get over their trauma but try to avoid participating in what is really THEIR drama.  They don’t get to choreograph your behavior, so be sure you behave in a way that you feel is honorable. 

WRONG QUESTION

Dear Short Answers:
Of course I think sexual assault is wrong, but do you think the current environment of high profile firings is a little “hysterical?”
X

Dear X:
Nope.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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