Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

GET YOUR OWN LIFE

Dear Short Answers:
Last year, my father married a 30-year old woman (who just happens to be only 3 years older than me). Recently, she announced that she was PREGNANT!!! Which was quite a surprise to me since I know that my father is not able to have children any more (I’m not sure why, but that was the reason for his last divorce). I asked my father and he told me to keep my mouth shut but it’s driving me crazy. Don’t you think that his wife should know that he is well aware that the child isn’t his and she has been cheating on him? At some point, this is all going to blow up and I think the sooner the better.
Protective Daughter

Dear Daughter:
He told you, now we are telling you — this is none of your business. 

NOISE POLLUTION

Dear Short Answers:
Is it wrong to encourage people to get a divorce? I have two close friends who argue and bicker and bitch about each other 24 hours a day. No one can stand to be in the same room with the two of them. How do we separate them for everyone’s sanity?
Can’t Stand It

Dear Can’t:
For some couples, bickering is just a bad habit. Rather than suggesting a solution such as divorce, we suggest you describe YOUR problem.  Tell them that listening to them argue is unpleasant! 

ONE SMALL STEP

Dear Short Answers:
I am shy and quiet and therefore people walk all over me like I am invisible and don’t matter. This is a particular problem at college as I don’t get the attention I need from my lecturers.  They seem to forget that I am even there and are often too busy with other people to even notice me. How can I become visible and get the attention I need? It’s serious now because my shyness is affecting my education.
Overlooked

Dear Overlooked:
Speaking up for yourself, insisting on getting heard, and developing a level of comfort with attention are all skills most people develop throughout young adulthood with much trial and error.  Right now, for this particular situation, we suggest you write a note to your lecturers, briefly describing your problem and identify yourself. (“I am the brunette with glasses sitting in the 5th row center.”) Sign your letter and ask that they acknowledge you with a glance in class. Once you feel recognized, perhaps you can step up to seeing your teachers during their office hours with any questions you have.

LESS SAID

Dear Short Answers:
If you think your son is gay (he’s only 12 but I can tell), what’s the best course of action? Do I wait until he says something to me? Or do I encourage him to confront this issue?
Mom

Dear Mom:

Relax. If your home is open and accepting, he will “confront” the issue of his sexuality when he is ready. 

A LITTLE GOES TOO FAR

Dear Short Answers:
How many times should I let my boyfriend lie to me before I dump him for good?
Sara

Dear Sara:
Once would do it for us.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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