Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman 

WRONG QUESTION

Dear Short Answers:
I invited a good friend of mine to a wine tasting event for a local charity and after we got there, she told me that she doesn’t drink wine. Shouldn’t she have told me this beforehand? The tickets were $100 each and it was totally wasted on her. Plus, it put a damper on the whole evening. My friend says that I should have know she doesn’t drink wine (she certainly drinks plenty of other things!!). I refuse to talk to her until she apologizes and she refuses to talk to me. Who is right?
Matter of Principle

Dear Principle:
We think your priorities need realignment. The operative words in your question should be “friend” and “charity”. We wish you a Merry Christmas and some attitude adjustment. 

PLEASING SOME OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME

Dear Short Answers:
My husband recently decided to become a vegan and it’s driving me crazy. I applaud his discipline, but it is making my job as the family cook, nearly impossible. I am happy to cut back on meat myself but we have two teen-age kids who love meat, fish and dairy products. So I’m going to have to cook something separate for them. I’ve tried to explain this to my husband but he says this is “my job” (I am a stay-at-home mom). I’m sure I am not the first mom to face this. How do other families figure this out?
Chief Cook

Dear CC:
We don’t know about most families, but we think when one member decides on a “special diet,” the family gets to continue to eat their usual fare and the “special” person can be accommodated with additions (or subtractions) from the menu.  Anything other than that is the “special” person’s responsibility.

 

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING

Dear Short Answers:
Is there a rule of thumb about how much fragrance is too much? Most of my friends, both male and female, asphyxiate me with their eau of whatever! They smell like they have soaked in it.
Help

Dear Help:
We agree. A little goes a long way. We recommend a tab behind the ears, or at the wrist, or one spritz , after a shower but BEFORE you put your clothes on.  Fragrance should always be subtle and only noticeable in intimate range.

WELL-INTENTIONED, MISDIRECTED

Dear Short Answers:
I am 45 years old and have been married for over 10 years. My husband and I tried desperately to have kids but after two miscarriages — we just decided it wasn’t worth it. Lately, there seems to be a lot of news about new methods of fertilization and well-meaning friends are emailing me articles that they think will “help.” How do I tell them to STOP without having to talk about my miscarriages (which I never told anyone about). I am past my child-bearing years and I just don’t want to think about it anymore.
Over It

Dear Over:
Totally get it. Just respond with “Thanks, but no thanks.” No more explanation is required.

TIMELY QUERY

Dear Short Answers:
What is politics?
Innocent Bystander

Dear Innocent:
Politics is the artful manipulation of any situation in service of one’s own agenda.

Life is complicated.  “Short Answers” isn’t. 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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