Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman 

FASHION VICTIM

Dear Short Answers:
Ever since my husband retired, he has started to get sloppier and sloppier in the way he dresses. His clothes have really, really bad stains and are threadbare in places. I have bought him new clothes but he refuses to wear them and says he just doesn’t care. He’s starting to look much older than he really is and I have told him so. I threatened to throw out all his clothes but he says he will just go to the Salvation Army and buy clothes that are worse. What can I do? It’s embarrassing.
Wife of Slob

Dear WOS:
We feel you. Sounds like he is depressed. The real issue is “why.” 

FAMILY AFFAIR

Dear Short Answers:
My new sister-in-law is extremely attractive and isn’t afraid to show it off (show them BOTH off, if you know what I mean). The other day, I made a funny remark about the size of her breasts (I knew she could hear me) and she became incensed and stormed out of the house. My brother told me that she refuses to talk to me again until I apologize. I think that if a woman reveals too much of her cleavage, she should expect a remark now and then. I refuse to apologize. Should I?
BIL

Dear BIL:
Operative phrase here is “new sister-in-law.” This woman will be in your life. Apologize and keep your opinions about her breasts to yourself. P.S. And just because her breasts are large and she doesn’t cover them in burlap, you don’t have the right to make humorous remarks about any aspect of her appearance.

NOT YOUR SISTER’S KEEPER

Dear Short Answers:
A woman where I work is expecting a baby in a couple of months and is planning to take the maximum amount of paid maternity leave – which I think is 12 weeks. Because of the way the system works, she has to agree to return to work in order to get the paid leave and make sure that management holds her job open for her. Although she hasn’t told her boss, she has confidentially told me that she has no intention of returning to work – which basically means that she lied to her boss. Would it be ethical for me to tell her boss what I know? I think that when people “work the system” it hurts everybody.
Irritated

Dear I:
Sometimes when you’re right, you’re wrong. Leave this one alone!

RECIPROCITY REQUIRED?

Dear Short Answers:
If the people at work hold a wedding shower for you, are you obligated to invite them to the wedding?
Shauna

Dear Shauna:
You are obligated to be gracious to those who have been gracious to you. Doesn’t mean you have to invite them — but do make sure they feel thanked and recognized.

“REASONABLE” IS NOT THE ISSUE

Dear Short Answers:
How long should it take a reasonable person to get ready for bed? My girlfriend takes OVER AN HOUR!  We can’t afford an apartment with two bathrooms so what do I do?
The BF

Dear BF:
You use the bathroom first, then get off her case.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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