Short Answers / Slow Down You Move Too Fast

By Jeff Johnson And Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
A good friend of mine just got engaged. She met the guy on j-date about 2 months ago. All her friends think he’s a total jerk and she’s just desperate because she’s 36 years old. How do we convince her to at least slow down a little before making such a big life decision?
2Fast 4 Us

Dear 2 Fast:
Engaged isn’t married — it is a statement of intent. Perhaps at 36 she knows what she wants. We think YOU should slow down and see how your friend wants to play her hand.

IT’S A ZILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS

Dear Short Answers:
I am getting married next summer and trying to figure out my budget for the wedding.  Is there a general rule of thumb about how much these things should cost?  This is especially important since I’ll probably have to pay for the whole thing myself.
ZN

Dear ZN:
Our rule of thumb is that weddings shouldn’t cost more than you can afford. Don’t put pressure on yourself or your parents — have a great party but remember, it’s the marriage, not the wedding that is most important.

TINY GUESTS

Dear Short Answers:
My house is a death trap for babies. What precautions are my responsibility and what are properly the responsibility of parents when they bring their children to my home?
Nervous

Dear Nervous:
For family, put yourself out a bit. Removable baby gates are very helpful for staircases. In general, take sharp objects and anything you care about off coffee tables and feel free to tell the parents what to do with dirty diapers and what makes you uncomfortable.

AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T SPOIL HIS APPETITE

Dear Short Answers:
How much porn should I let my husband watch? He thinks I don’t know what he’s up to all the time. Shouldn’t there be a limit — like we put on our kids when they watch too much TV?
Tuned In & Turned On

Dear TT:
“How much should you let him watch?” As if…try joining him. Maybe you will both enjoy it.

LET IT BE

Dear Short Answers:
Any advice about multi-generational vacations?
Mom in the Middle

Dear MIM:
Cut yourself a lot of slack — and everyone else too. Remember that everyone made this choice with good intentions. Free yourself of your usual standards — whatever they are. Paper plates are fine, grazing is fine, and sense of humor is essential. Oh yeah, and let go of all celluloid expectations. The Waltons was a fantasy — not reality TV.

SMELLY NELLY

Dear Short Answers:
How do you politely tell a person they have offensive body odor!
Offended

Dear O:
This is a challenge. B.O., bad breath — all messages for which killing the messenger is the first response. We say: wait for your moment, it will occur. In the meantime, offer mints and bring fragrant soaps as frequently as is reasonable.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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