Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

TAKE A PASS ON THIS ONE

Dear Short Answers:
My daughter’s boyfriend, I guess in an effort to be cool, subtly brags on FaceBook about his sex life with her. Someone I know saw it and told me about it. We’ve always cautioned her about putting anything in writing like that, so we’re not only upset with his posting, but with the fact that she apparently hasn’t told him to delete the post. They’re both 20 and I guess do stupid things like this. Should we say anything about this? If so, to whom? Any ideas on how to word this?
Thanks!
TMI

Dear TMI:
Much as we sympathize, monitoring FB posts of your 20-year old child is likely to lead nowhere good. You will continue to be upset, she will resent the intrusion and any conversation about it will create another issue. 

J’ACCUSE?

Dear Short Answers:
I’m starting to really notice that my boyfriend can be quite selfish. How do I address this with him without being accusatory?
Hoping to Change Things

Dear Hoping:
Talk about how you feel — not about what he did. Start with “I feel that my wishes are not being heard — what should I do?” If this doesn’t elicit a thoughtful response, honey, you got yourself a loser.  

GOING, GOING, GONE

Dear Short Answers:
I recently quit my job and sold my house. Most of my friends don’t know about the job and think that I am going to buy a new house. In reality, I simply want to leave town and start someplace new. I haven’t told anyone about this and just want to leave quietly. Is this wrong? I just need a fresh start. I know that people will be upset and worried and angry. But this is about me, isn’t it?
Leaving

Dear L:
Of course it is about you. But one note of caution. We are great fans of moving as a vehicle for change — but it can also be a great distraction from whatever issues are making you feel you need a fresh start.  

THEY COME IN PAIRS

Dear Short Answers:
My wife and I are very good friends with another couple. We used to get together for dinner every month or so, even during COVID since they were part of our “bubble.” But lately, the husband gets so drunk at dinner that he is extremely unpleasant to be around. We spoke to his wife about this and she was very defensive. Last time, we asked just the wife to join us for dinner — but she was insulted and wouldn’t come. Do we just give up on this couple completely? I hate to punish the wife for something that the husband is doing.
Seeking Solution

Dear SS:
We borrow from W.C. Fields: He’ll be sober in the morning, but you will still be rude. You owe both of them an apology — friends accept friends “as is.” Your friend’s drinking is his problem — and not yours to judge.  

WHY AIRPLANES WERE INVENTED

Dear Short Answers:
Are long distance relationships impossible?
Frequent Flier

Dear FF:
No, they are VERY possible and have many side benefits ranging from self-discovery to sexy reunions.

Life is complicated.  Short Answers isn’t. 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer.  A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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