Short Answers / PICK YOUR POISON

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

Dear Short Answers:
As I’ve gotten older, I guess I have gotten a bit more prudish and don’t appreciate all the sex and violence that I see on TV. I don’t think it should be “banned” but I’m just not interested in watching it. The problem is that the shows I find most offensive are the ones that everybody at work is always talking about. And of course I can’t contribute to the conversation so I feel very left out. Do you think it’s important to keep up with popular culture even if you think it’s offensive?
Too Much

Dear Too:
This is binary — watch the shows (you might even grow to like them) or don’t and change the subject. Guns, Planned Parenthood or the Donald generally elicit some lively conversation.

SO IT SEEMS

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that most people have at least one gay sexual experience in their lives? Just to experiment and see what it’s like?
Honest Question

Dear Honest:
Yes … if only in their dreams!

IT’S AN ADDICTION

Dear Short Answers:
I have a close friend who is often in financial trouble. She owes more money than I can even imagine. When she tells me about her debts I want to throw up! I sense she wants to borrow money but I know this is NOT the answer. But what should I do?
Peggy

Dear Peggy:
Don’t throw up and don’t lend her money. Only she can solve this problem and it will require a drastic rehabilitation of her way of thinking about the role of money in her life. It won’t be easy — so don’t expect miracles.

NO SEX PLEASE, I’M TOO…

Dear Short Answers:
A friend of mine is an early 40s bachelor who’s never been married. He recently met the woman of his dreams (also early 40s never married). They have been going out for three months now and really like each other. There seems to be lots of passion – BUT she comes up with excuses right when they are about to have sex. I don’t think it’s about her not being attracted to him AT ALL. He’s a really good-looking, really good guy and she’s into him. I think it might be more about her being insecure or afraid he might “dump” her after they do it. He also told me she’s having hot flashes. Could it be a pre-menopause kind of thing? Sort of complicated, but what should my friend do? Just be patient? He is hesitant to discuss it with her because he doesn’t want it to mess up the relationship. Thoughts???
Friend

Dear Friend:
It sounds like “the woman of his dreams” has “issues” that are not going to resolve any time soon. And probably not without professional intervention. If your friend is up for the long haul, then he must begin to address the issue with her. By 40, everyone comes with baggage – might as well start unpacking if he is planning to stay.

WARNING: DEATH OR CHI-CHI

Dear Short Answers:
My husband started smoking again. What should I do? Join him? Nagging definitely doesn’t help.
Worried Wife

Dear Wife:
Just look at him sadly. There is no new information.

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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