Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

AT YOUR OWN RISK

Dear Short Answers:
Do I really have to acknowledge any mother beside my own on Mother’s day (daughters, sisters, in laws)?
Manipulated by Media

Dear Manipulated:
Surely you have some sense of how the players in your life feel about this kind of occasion. There are no general rules, but every family has their own.

 

FAMILY MINI-SERIES

Dear Short Answers:
I recently found out from my sister that my father was a closeted homosexual. Even though he had four children! My sister swore me to secrecy and claims that she is the only one in the family who knows. I agreed that I wouldn’t say anything but now I am having second thoughts. First, I don’t think a family should have secrets like this from each other. Second, I’m beginning to wonder if my sister was telling me the truth. Maybe she made it up or was simply mistaken. Do I break my word and talk to my brothers and my mom (my dad passed away many years ago) or do I just forget she ever said anything and hope she doesn’t bring it up again?
Frantic Sis

Dear Sis:
Your sister has no right to ask you to keep this confidence — silence only fires a drama that may or may not be a drama at all! Tell her that, and get your gang together and share your thoughts and feelings.

 

IT’S A ZILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS

Dear Short Answers:
I am getting married next summer and trying to figure out my budget for the wedding.  Is there a general rule of thumb about how much these things should cost?  This is especially important since I’ll probably have to pay for the whole thing myself.
ZN

Dear ZN:
Our rule of thumb is that weddings shouldn’t cost more than you can afford. Don’t put pressure on yourself or your parents — have a great party but remember, it’s the marriage, not the wedding that is most important.

 

BRAVE NEW EASY WORLD

Dear Short Answers:
When you ask a girl out on a date, should I expect to pay for everything? Or do girls these days expect to pay their share?
Cyrus

Dear Cyrus:
In general every one pays for themselves, unless, or until, another arrangement is agreed to.

GROW UP!

Dear Short Answers:
I started working over a year ago at a PR firm. It was truly an entry-level position and my responsibilities are mostly answering the phone and making the senior executives travel arrangements. There doesn’t seem to be any possibility of advancement here (I’ve already asked). The problem is that I LOVE the people I work with. Everybody at the agency is smart and funny and we all get along great. I’m concerned that if I go somewhere else, I won’t have nearly as much fun. Should I stay at a place that I love but might take years to get anywhere? Or do I move to a less fun job with more chance for advancement???
Betsy

Dear Betsy:
Please act like a grown-up working woman and move on. Advancement doesn’t mean less fun, it means more fun.

MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO

Dear Short Answers:
How do you make kids understand “obligation” and “responsibility”?
Mom

Dear Mom:
Daily example. There is no other way.

 

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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