Short Answers / GIVE IT A TRY BUT DON’T EXPECT TOO MUCH

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
Do I have a right to insist that my grown son and his family visit me in my home? My grandsons have never seen me in my own home, which means on some very basic level, they have no idea who I am.
Granny

Dear Granny:
We feel you but insisting is unlikely to deliver a favorable outcome. Try an invitation for a specific date with a conversation explaining why it is so important to you. Try not to be too upset if your request is met with the litany of how hard they are working and the many demands their lives require.  But you will know what their priorities are, and what a big mistake they are making.

DESERVE WHAT???

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think it’s a good idea to take a year off between high school and college?  My mom says she won’t pay for college if I do but I feel that I deserve a year to relax and have fun before starting to work for the rest of my life.  What do you think?
Joey

Dear Joey:
Sometimes taking a year off is a very good idea — but your argument is very weak. Do better than that or she might decide not to pay for college EVER.

WE SMELL TROUBLE

Dear Short Answers:
My wife and I have been planning a hiking vacation for over a year.  She isn’t a big fan of hiking but we made a compromise — we would first take a vacation that SHE chose (we went to Bermuda) and then it would be MY turn to select a vacation destination.  About 3 weeks ago, she had a minor car accident and hurt her neck and shoulder.  So now she says that she isn’t physically able to go hiking. I think she is just faking this so I suggested that she stay home and I’ll go with a friend. She is furious and demands that I cancel the vacation and get as much of our deposit back as possible.  I seriously doubt that the two of us will ever go hiking.  Am I wrong to go alone with a friend?
Backpacker

Dear Backpacker:
We think it is important that you get to the bottom of this argument. That you think she is “faking” suggests to us that this isn’t really about hiking.  Although we often advise a “one for him, one for her” approach to vacation planning we presume both parties will approach both holidays with an open mind and willingness to have fun.  Something seems to have gone wrong. Does she think that you will make the hike into a “forced march”?  Are you insufficiently attentive to her needs and fears? Going with a friend is only a solution if it is blessed by both of you.

 

PICK YOUR PUNISHMENT

Dear Short Answers:
If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, do you have to eat everything on your plate before going back for seconds? My wife and I completely disagree on this question.
Still Hungry

Dear Hungry:
We presume that the joy of “all-you-can-eat” is that the CLEAN PLATE CLUB rules do not apply. However we have heard the one about having to eat all you have EVER left on your plate before you get into heaven.

 

Life is complicated. Short Answers isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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