Short Answers / BECOMING “WE”

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
I have come to the conclusion that my boyfriend has no sense of style whatsoever. I have even bought nice clothes for him but he still looks like a total slob. Last week his shirt had so many food stains on it that I made him stop at The Gap to buy a new one before I would go out with him in public. Since my own personal appearance is very important to me, do you think this will be a deal-breaker in the future of our relationship?
Betsy

Dear Betsy:
Try telling him in a very serious but NON-INSULTING way, why his appearance is important to you. This discussion should help you decide if you have a future.

 

THE MESSAGE, NOT THE MEDIUM

Dear Short Answers:
Because of some problems I have with arthritis, I have very poor handwriting. As a result, I tend to type everything including thank-you notes and even sympathy cards. I have a very easy program on my computer that prints my message right on the card and then I sign it by hand (which I try to make as legible as possible). It has gotten back to me that some people find a typewritten card to be very rude. I understand their feelings but I think I have found the best solution. Do you think I should add a note to all my cards that explains my condition and why it’s typed and not handwritten?
JPK

Dear JPK:
Absolutely NOT! No need to apologize or explain!

 

PLAY WITH FIRE

Dear Short Answers:
Is it possible for a “heavy” social drinker and a recovering alcoholic to live together?
Pat

Dear Pat:
Possible? Yes. But we think it’s a bad idea — at best irritating, at worst, dangerous.

WHATEVER WORKS

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think a married couple should merge their finances or keep separate checking accounts?
Just Married

Dear Just:
Like having a child or buying a dog, merging your finances doesn’t instantly improve a marriage and is more likely to test its limits. If you’re asking us this question, you should probably keep them separate for a while and merge them bit-by-bit when you are both confident that this is the right thing to do. Everyone knows that disagreement over finances is one of the major causes of divorce. Don’t add to that risk.

MY OWN (AIR) SPACE

Dear Short Answers:
When you sit next to a complete stranger on an airplane (or anywhere for that matter) and they start telling you all their problems — some of which are pretty serious and sad — how do you get them to stop without being rude?
Jean

Dear Jean:
Feel free to interrupt the saga, and tell your seatmate that you are sorry for their troubles but you can’t help and need some space.

LUCK OF THE DRAW

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that most of those photos people post on Facebook of their darling children and expensive vacations and fantastic meals are real?
Having an Issue

Dear Issue:
Yes, we think their lives are better than yours. Or their photographs are more professional and better edited.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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