Short Answers /NOT ABOUT YOU … ENTIRELY

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

Dear Short Answers:
Don’t you think it’s important that older people learn how to use the Internet? My parents refuse to text or email and they still have an old-fashioned answering machine which they often forget to check. When I need to find them, I have to keep calling until they pick up the phone. I bought then a computer but they refuse to use it. How do I get them to enter the 21st century?
Their Son

Dear Son:
They are probably unwilling — perhaps unable to change. The old-fashioned ways of communicating — calling and calling and then calling a neighbor — might not be so bad after all. Haven’t you ever wished to be less accessible?

STRATEGIC AVOIDANCE

Dear Short Answers:
If a friend of yours has really bad table manners (I mean REALLY bad), is it better to point this out and risk losing a friend?  Or should I just avoid eating with this person if I can?
Disgusted

Dear Disgusted:
Assuming this friend is old enough to vote, we suggest go with option 2.

CUT TO THE CHASE

Dear Short Answers:
My husband and I have constant disagreements over how to raise our children. Everything from when is bedtime to how much candy they can eat at Halloween. Is there a book you can recommend that can settle these arguments once and for all?
Wit’s End

Dear Wit:
Disagreements about kids is a marriage killer. It’s very wearing and creates enormous tension for everyone. Often these arguments are not really about the kids but a way for one partner to undermine the behavior of the other adult. We suggest you think this through and try to separate you from the kids. When one parent says “too much candy,” are they really saying “you eat too much candy?” Does “let the kids stay up later” really mean they don’t want to be alone with you — or afraid of confrontation? Once you sort out what is really going on, it is easier to agree on outcomes. A counselor could really help you quicken this process.

 

EVERY TOWN IS A SMALL TOWN

Dear Short Answers:
We just purchased a house for $545,000. The listing agent was also the selling agent. It was a cash deal, so she made a good deal of money for very limited input. She gave us a very nice pewter tray, which I like, but upon opening the box, stuck in a corner under the packaging was a Christmas card from another person, thanking her for her continued support. I want to send her a nice thank-you note to tell her how much we liked the tray. I would also like to send the card we found back to her and just say “oops.” What do you think?
Signed, Can’t Wait

Dear Can’t Wait:
Don’t do it. You never know….

KIDS AND DOGS

Dear Short Answers:
Do you think that getting a dog is good training for young children and will help them learn responsibility?
Mom

Dear Mom:
Only if they really want the dog and YOU provide thoughtful and firm guidance throughout the process.  Otherwise, you are looking at mom’s new best friend.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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