Short Answers

By Jeff Johnson and Paula Forman

 

NO ISSUE

Dear Short Answers:

I lent an expensive necklace to a friend to wear to a party right after Thanksgiving. I didn’t make a big deal about its value because I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. However, she has not yet returned it. Do you think she might have misunderstood and thought it was a gift? Now what?

Awkward

Dear Awkward:

Just tell her you hope she enjoyed wearing the necklace and now you would like it back. Don’t over think this one.

 

LIGHTEN UP

Dear Short Answers:

After a few drinks at a dinner party last week, we played the “what would you do if you only had an hour left to live” game. Of course, everybody said they would spend it with their spouses and kids – except my husband. He said he would have sex with the sexiest prostitute he could find in an hour because that’s something he always wanted to do. You can only imagine how horrified I was. Now that it’s been said, he can’t take it back. Is there any explanation you can give me that would justify his hurtful answer to that question?

Horrified and Hurt

Dear H&H:

This was a parlor game, not a deathbed request. He thought he was being witty; everyone else was hiding out. Feel Better?

 

TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS

Dear Short Answers:

One of my closest friends lost her husband last year. Ever since, she has turned into the rudest, meanest, most thoughtless person I know. For the first six months, we all ignored it and tried to sympathize with her loss. But I think enough is enough. Losing a spouse is a horrible thing but does not excuse her behavior, at least in my opinion. Am I turning into a thoughtless person myself if I start to ignore and avoid her?

Very Annoyed

Dear Annoyed:

We don’t excuse rude behavior but we can explain it: the six month marker is a difficult time for people experiencing loss. You may be over it, but she certainly isn’t. Maybe you should gently tell her that grief is distancing and that you miss her.

 

WHEN YOU’RE RIGHT, YOU’RE RIGHT

Dear Short Answers:

Am I old-fashioned? I still expect thank you notes for gifts. I prefer a short handwritten card, but even an email will do if it’s prompt. A text only works to communicate immediate excitement but to me isn’t a real thank you. What do you think?

Irritated Auntie

Dear Auntie:

We are solid with Old-Fashioned.

 

HALF RIGHT

Dear Short Answers:

As a parent of two children (an 8-year old girl and a 10-year old boy), I am sick and tired of the EVERY KID IS SPECIAL nonsense that is so popular today. Every kid DOES NOT deserve an award just for showing up. How do I get them prepared for the real world and teach them that life isn’t fair and they need to LEARN THAT NOW!!

Mom

Dear Mom:

We hear you. Winning and losing are part of life and kids need to learn that. But we also think they need to understand that win or lose, they are still okay — and special to you.

 

AGE OF ENLIGHTENMENT

Dear Short Answers:

Will I ever get to the age when I don’t truly care what my parents think about me?

Sonny

Dear Sonny:

This is not a function of age, it is becoming your own true self. You will always care, but maybe not so much. Good luck.

 

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t.

 

Send a question about whatever is bothering you to [email protected] or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every week in KonkLife.

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